'I'd Buy That...As a Tee!' Vol 33

Always on the look out for inspiring art... emblazoned across the chest of humanity. Here's some of the t-shirts I have my eye on to do just the trick but, there's only one problem....they aren't for sale yet! Please click each of the links below to the Threadless.com voting pages and give these beauties '5' ratings so I can throw 'em on my charge card one day.

**Please click READ MORE for tee-licious tees!**

The Next League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Comic Will Feature Jules Verne & H.P. Lovecraft... And I Just Fainted!!!

I may not agree with Alan Moore and all the belly aching he does about people using his characters, but I certainely do like Moore's work.... especially The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I am a huge fan of Moore's literary mash-ups, and I can't wait for the upcoming one shot Nemo: Heart of Ice. The tale will obviously focus on Captain Nemo, but apparently the ride will take him to Antarctica where he will no doubt be At The Mountains Of Madness from H.P. Lovecraft's classic tales. He will also have Jules Verne along for the ride, and I am sure Moore has some other tricks up his sleeve as well. I always found it kinda funny that Moore is so adamant about DC Comics & others corrupting his characters when they use them without Moore's involvement, yet he has no problem stealing all of the great literary characters & settings he likes for his League of Extraordinary Gentlemen stories himself (aside from the core characters of the League who are all major literary characters of the past, Moore has also incorporated John Carter, Lewis Carroll, War of the Worlds, The Avengers (UK version), James Bond, and tons of other shit from other authors works).  The books is due by the end of 2012. You can see the original article and more of Allan Moore's hypocritical rantings on the subject of stealing characters by clicking here & here. 

The Birth of Cthulu by Cyril Van Der Hageen

I came across this picture a few weeks back and have been meaning to post it because I love the subject matter so much. H.P. Lovecraft is one of my all time favorite authors, so seeing this excellent imagining of the moment when all the ideas for his crazy stories clicked for him in his real life had me speechless. Artist Cyril Van Der Haegen leaves no Lovecraftian character or theme out in this one... check the full size version after the jump.

Herge + Lovecraft = Win

Check out these wonderful mashups of Herge's Tin Tin Comic Books with the mythical figures of H.P. Lovecraft's books. The Old Ones are at it in full force, and Herge's boy detective is on the case. Check out the rest of these from artist Murry Groat after the jump.

If I Were A Bit Younger, I Would Rock One Of These

These are the kind of ski masks that I wish were available when I was a kid... nothing keeps your face warmer then a full on ski mask, so why not look awesome while staying warm as well? First up, we got a Ghostbuster's themed Stay Puft Marshmallow Man ski mask. Take a look at this magnificient bastard:

You can order that for about 20 bucks over at 80's Tees by clicking here.

Next up, we got a much more sophisticated, knitted version of the ski mask featuring the Great Old One Chtlulu from the tales of HP Lovecraft. Good lord this is acurate (and spooky as shit). Imagine walking down the street wearing this thing.... wow!

You can grab that mask for 20 bucks by checking out Crafty PA's Etsy shop by clicking here.

Twas The Night Before Christmas, Lovecraft Style!!!

‘Twas the Night before Roodmas, and all through R’lyeh,

Not a creature was stirring, having all gone away.

Sacrifices were hung on huge hooks with great care

In hopes that Shub-Niggurath soon would be there.

The Deep Ones were nesting, sleeping like fishes

To breed with your women, their greatest wish is

Ma Hydra in her membranes, and I in my shroud,

Lay dead but dreaming, and snoring aloud.

When out from the depths there arose such a howling

I sprang from my tomb, to see who was prowling.

Away to the window, I shot like a squid

(with geometries unknown to poor Euclid).

The Moon on the drifts of aeon-old slime

gave a sickening glow to things trapped in the rime.

When what to my batrachian eyes did show

But a nightmare of flesh with an unhealthy glow,

With hundreds of tentacles, so gnarled and far-flung

I knew it was her with a Thousand Dark Young.

More rapid than Shantaks her offspring came down

As she howled, and gibbered, and made other sounds

“Now! Hlasher, now! Yrancer, now! Xhrancer and Xixen!”

“On! Nromet, on! Hrupid, on! Uronder and Qlixin!”

“To the top of the parapet! to the top of the wall!”

“Now raven and slay, raven and slay them all!”

As weak humans before wild Ithaqua fly,

In the Wind-Walker’s grasp, mount to the sky

So up to the crypt-top her offspring they oozed

I knew in an instant, I was in for bad news.

And then in a moment, I heard on the roof

the clomping and pawing of huge cloven hoofs.

As I drew in my head and was blanching in fright,

In the doorway Shub-Niggurath hove into sight.

She was half-covered in fur, from her horns to her tail

While from her tits on down was all covered in scales.

A cluster of Dark Young clung to her back

Looking like ticks, swollen and black.

Her eyes — how they glimmered! Her teeth, how serrated!

Her cock was erect, and my bowels evacuated.

Her wide fang-lined mouth was starting to slaver,

And I feared I’d end up just one more cadaver.

The remains of a child, she clutched to her breast

And I wondered for a moment, what she’d done with the rest.

She had a long face, and a big fertile belly

and her flesh heaved and quivered, like a mountain of jelly.

She was ancient and vast, a right vile Old God

And I shook, for I was really quite over-awed.

A flick of her tongue and a twist of her head

Soon gave me to know I had everything to dread.

She said not a word, but went right to her work,

Impregnated my wife, and then turned to me for a jerk

And forcing herself on me, she gave a sick grin

For I knew she was nearly all the way in.

Satisfied she then left, to her offspring she screamed

Leaving me to wish this was naught but bad dreams.

But I heard her cry out as she faded from sight,

“Foul tidings to all, for the Stars are now Right!”

Thanks to The Blood Sprayer & Saucerman for this wonderful poem!!!

Since I Am A H.P. Lovecraft Freak...

... I have just ordered this wonderful, award winning short film entitled "Dirt Dauber" for a mere 12 bucks. I have been waiting on this one to become available for awhile, as it seems to have the Lovecraftian elements (mayhem, monsters, and all kinds of unexplained violence & weirdness) that I absolutely adore. You can order the movie on Amazon by clicking here, and you can check out the film's website here. Also, here is the synopsis:

In this Lovecraftian fairy tale, a man who awakens naked and confused in the woods is helped by a strange local who speaks of curious mountain folklore, and a murderous religious cult that worships an insect-like fertility god that dwells deep inside the mountain. The two men go underground in search of the truth, and soon find themselves in a stygian black temple of horror.

Here is the trailer as well... support short films and order this one!!!!
 

Stormtroopers, Lovecraftian Old Ones, and Graboids... Oh My!!!

Here are some wacky videos that have come my way over the past two days. Thanks to all you guys emailing me these cool stories, because I watch these videos and I laugh my head off. Hope you guys enjoy!

First up, we see what Stormtroopers do when they want to let off a bit of steam on the dance floor. This guy breaks it down son! Check out the two little troops CGIed into the background, and R2D2 providing a little rebel flare to group. I like the modern take on Singin In The Rain... not as good as Alex in A clockwork Orange, but still good. Shout to Jeff Bond for this one.



Next up, we get an animated re-telling of one of my favorite H.P.Lovecraft stories, The Call Of Cthulhu. It may not be the way you remember it (Cthulhu won an Oscar??? WTF) But it is still cool as shit. Thanks to The Brothers Grim & Grimy for this 2 minute masterpiece.



Frank Robnik and the boys over at IO9 bring you a firsthand look at the underground world of Graboids, or the wormlike creatures that tortured the life of Kevin Bacon and the dad from Family Ties in the 90's movie series Tremors. That was one of my all time favorite 90's movies, and this informational video helps keep me out of harms way. Stay on solid ground, clown!!!


Monstrous Wildlife from Frank Robnik on Vimeo.

I Have A New NetFlix Obsession, But This One Is Going To Take Awhile...

Everyone who knows me and has been following the blog knows that I am a huge fan of the NetFlix instant streaming feature on my Wii. Since I am a teacher and on summer vacation, I have found myself watching an inordinate amount of old television shows and movies using the service. I have long been interested in the 60's and early 70's classic soap opera/horrorfest known as Dark Shadows, but was always scared away by the sheer number of shows in the series. When I first saw the DVD's, there were 40 episodes on each one... and over 20 volumes!!! The show only aired for 5 years (form 1966-1971) but was on everyday, 5 days a week. The result is over 1,225 episodes. Talk about a job that I am undertaking... I must be f'n crazy!!!

The show always had a supernatural side to it, right from the beginning with ghosts and mythical creatures like the Phoenix playing integral parts of the story. But in episode 210, we are introduced to Barnabas Collins. Barnabas is a long lost relative of the Collins family, but he is a vampire. The character was greatly accepted and the shows popularity took off through the roof. The writers went on to throw the full gamut of horror characters into the mix. Werewolves, witches, sea monsters, time travel, zombies... you name it, Dark Shadows had it. They also used classics by H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allan Poe as inspiration for story lines. The DVD's of the show even start off at episode 210, basically ignoring the first 209 episodes and acknowledging that the show really start with the intro of Barnabas. What makes the show so appealing to me is that they were getting away with this type of content on DAYTIME TV IN THE 1960'S!!!! My girlfriends mom and my pops both told me how they used to race home from school to watch the show at 4pm everyday.

Now there is talk that Tim Burton is going to remake the classic show into a movie with Johnny Depp in the Barnabas role. They were both big fans of the show, and filming starts in a few months. So I decided to start the viewing... sheshhhhh!!!! All 20 volumes are on Netflix Instant Streaming, and I am 10 episodes into the 1,000 + episodes I am set to watch. (I started at episode 210 with Barnabas) They are roughly 20 minutes long... oh boy, this is sick. I'll keep you posted on my journey.... long live the night!!!!!!

Cthulhu & The Old Ones Present: Art Inspired by H.P. Lovecraft

You really gonna argue with this guy??? If he says go to the art show, we are going to the art show. I'm not going to run the risk of offending any of H.P. Lovecraft Old Ones, so I'm definetly going to check out this exhibit being held at The Observatory in Brooklyn. For those of you guys saying "Who the F is H.P. Lovecraft and whats up with the Squid-Faced Art promoter to my left, let me enlighten you. Lovecraft is one of the foremost horror authors of all time, and he is often talked about in the same breaths as Stephen King and Edgar Allan Poe. Personally, I perfer him to both of the above. His stories have entertained people for over 90 years. And when I say entertained, I mean scared the ever loving shit out of them. Some of his classics would be The Dunwhich Horror, The Rats in the Wall, At the Mountains of Madness, Dreams in the Witchhouse, and most famously The Call of Cthulhu. Lovecraft lived in Brooklyn for a bit, and thats why I think its even cooler that this Lovecraft inspired art show should be taking place here. So if you like horror themed art, scary stories, or goth chicks (there are sure to be a few at this thing!) then you should make you way over to the Observatory. The show opens June 11th and runs through July 23rd. Click here for more details. See you guys there...