What Do The Avengers Talk About On Facebook?

Leave it to Dorkly to let us know what the answer to that question is. Since I am not friends with Cap, Thor, Fury, or any of the other team members, their convos don't come up in my feed. But now that I know all I gotta do to get me Black Widow in my life is talk nice and provide foot massages... well, I'm getting my ass to the Helicarrier and trying to get in there!!! Check out the full conversation threads after the jump...

Memos From The Desk of Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

With the recent succcess of the Avengers and the facination with creating fake Twitter, Facebook, and blogs for characters that are fictional, this was only gonna be a matter of time before it happened. Someone (a genius I tell you) has created a excellent Tumblr entitled Memos From Fury which re-posts inetroffic memos from S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters from the head honcho himself, Nick Fury. These memos don't involve end of the world problems like Loki or Thanos... no, these memos deal with much more mundane everyday things like interaction between the staff and the Avengers and telling a group of superheroes how to behave themselves. They are fucking hilarious and updated quite regularly. You can click here to see the full Tumblr and check out my top 10 favorite memos after the jump...

Halloween or Williamsburg Will Have You Laughing All Day Today...

A new blog popped onto my radar over the past few days, and frankly I find it to be one of the funniest and ridiculous things I have ever seen. It is called Halloween or Williamsburg. The concept is simple. The hipster douche nuggets and other high quality human beings that make up the population of Williamsburg, Brooklyn are  so preposterous that you can't tell if it is a regular day or Halloween. The site posts up random images and asks you to judge for yourself. It's catching on like wildfire, so take a few minutes and check it out. The captions are priceless... I have include my six faves after the jump. Stay golden hipsters, weirdos and psychopaths of BK!!!

This Comic Strip About Commentors On Blogs Is So True

via The Doghouse Diaries

Samuel L Jackson Tells Kids Exactly What He Wants: "Go The Fuck To Sleep!!!"

Ever since its release of the children's book 'Go The Fuck To Sleep' people have been talking about it. It's one of the highest rated books on Amazon right now and I absolutely love the originality of author Adam Mansbach. Anybody who has kids or younger siblings can relate to this book in full. Anyway, as if the book wasn't over the top itself, they have tapped Samuel L Jackson to read the audiobook!!! God, sometimes perfect pairings can come true. Here it is... 6 minutes of heaven. Here you go!




Wow... just wow. "No you can't have no fuckin' milk... Go The Fuck To Sleep!!!!". Hahahahaha.

2 Deadpool Mashups That Make Me Smile

These two Deadpool mashups put a smile on my face... and I hope they put one on yours too!!!

First up, here is 'Ronin Deadpool' by artist Ed McGuinness, which brings Deadpool back to feudal Japan.

 

Next up, we got Scarlet Vulture's Deadpool vs The Smurfs comic strip. Hysterical!!!

Help Me Aubrey One... Your My Only Hope

Check out the new sci fi themed series 'Troopers' on College Humor.com. This is the first episode, entitled 'Forcefield' and it features my favorite nerd girl of the moment Aubrey Plaza. This is going to be funny... I can just tell. Looking forward to more installments in the future. Enjoy:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

We Live Blogged The Oscars On Facebook... Yes We Did!!!

Last night both Jeff Bond and myself logged into the Mike CCD Facebook page and live-blogged the shit out of the Oscars. We were joined by CCD contributors Joey Esq & Kristen Grillo. In case you missed the literally hundreds of comments we posted, here are a few highlights.

Mike D's Best Lines:

1. Ok Halle Berry, enough of all the Lena Horne talk... just go all Swordfish and show us them titties!!!
2. Glad they showed Leslie Nielson as Enrico Palatzzo in the montage.
3. Holy shit... someone do Mr. Douglas a favor and cut off the flow of gaseous hydrogen that is keeping him cryogenically frozen in an upright position.... god!!!
4. Bob Hope with the Jew/Hollywood joke for the win...
5. I hope Banksy wins and comes up on stage to spray paint Oprah's face while wearing a monkey mask.
6. Did that black dude just say Lose Yourself from 8 Mile was his movie song ever? Get the fuck outta here....
7. The lady accepting the costume award for Alice In Wonderland is wearing Jerking Off gloves... no need to wipe off the hands when you are wearing those puppies.
8. Inception sweeps the sound category "Brahmmmmmm"... why are all these guys sucking off Chris Nolan so bad "Brahhhhhhhhmmmmmm"... They did there own job, they deserve their own credit "BRAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMM"
9. Trent Reznor sold out... he ain't fucking anybody like an animal anymore...he is walking the line now.
10. Mila Kunis should have made a short film called "How to Train Your Lesbian Ballerina Partner" with subtitles from when she goes down on Portman... Just saying
11. Just wish that one of these winners would come out and be like "To all you other nominees... suck it, we the best, all we do is win, win, win, win, win (DJ Khaled voice)"
12. Melissa Leo just channeled a bit of Jacke from 227 at the end of her speech... wtf???

And now Jeff Bond:

1. Mila-kun this, please!!!
2. Wait a minute ....Isn't Kirk Douglas dead?!
3. Fister? I hardly know her!
4. Hope Anne Hathaway never winds up looking like her mom.
5. Fully grown? You said it Mila.
6. A sea urchin is eating Cate Blanchett
7. HBC is starting to look like her dog, Tim Burton.
8. We love us some Randy Newman. When did he get Downe Syndrome?
9. Ah, the death toll up next!
10. Hillary Swank is all teeth.
11. Whoa! Jennifer Lawrence. Good Googily Moogily.
12. From the Onion: "Stay tuned for the official Republican rebuttal to the #Oscars shortly after the show"

And some of Joe & KMG's highlights:

Joe:

1. Umm Sandra, Jesse Eisenberg didn't ACTUALLY invent Facebook.
2. Wrap it up, Padme.
3. Annette Benning is sporting the ill Paulie D blowout!
4. I'm legitimately confused... Lena Horne paved the way for black performers how? She looks pretty white to me.
5. What are the odds Kirk Douglas will have been added to that list (the dead actors list) by the time they get back from commercial?
6. You named your daughter Bronty? Is she real fat?
7. Looks like they found a dress to force some of Oprah's belly fat up into her bust. Ugh.
8. Wheeeee! Autotune jokes! Its 2008!
9. YOU APPLAUD WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THE NAME GEORGE LUCAS YOU HOLLYWOOD MONKEYS!
10. I didn't hear anything McConahoweveryouspellit said over the SOUND of Scarlett Johansen's sexiness. MING!
11. Know who loses the achievement in costume design award? Whoever dressed Ms. Blanchett.
12. Kirk Douglas can't even speak and he's killing.

And Kristen:

1. Who dat? James Blunt? (Talking about the director of The King's Speech Tom Hooper)
2. I think her water just broke.
3. Is James Franco dying as the night goes on?
4. Oprah??!! The fuck you doin' here lady! The color purple was 27 years ago!
5. Spaceyyyyyy! You so crasey!
6. Look at Reese and her strong chin!
7. Josh Brolin: YOU GOONIE!!!
8. Melissa Leo: giving her best performance of her career right now!
9. Spit it out you old bastard! (talking to Kirk Douglas)
10. Hugh Jackman: My uterus is your lair.
11. Keith Urban.....you tiny!
12. Damn, I look good in the future. (Talking about her look-alike, Sandra Bullock)

Great fun... check us out on Facebook by clicking here. Love you guys!!!! Mad fun, looking forward to doing it LIVE next year (good call KMG, next year we make history!!!!)

Here Is Just Another Reason To Love Tracy Morgan

I absolutely adore my man, Tracy Morgan... the dude is a wacky motherfucker who is always good for a sound bite. With that being said, I have to wonder just what the fuck TNT and hosts Kenny Walker & Charles Barkley thought he was going to say when they asked him his feelings on Sarah Palin's sex appeal. Here is his response:

Yup... that happened on TV... live.... and it was awesome!!! Did you see these guys immediately begin to understand just how bad of a question that was as soon as Tracy took a step back and grinned.... wonderful, just wonderful. I love Tracy... stay just the way you are!!!

P.S.- Check out this weak ass apology from TNT:

TNT has now released a statement saying, “It's unfortunate Mr. Morgan showed a lack of judgment on our air with his inappropriate comments. We apologize for any embarrassment or offense it may have caused.”

That's just stupid... they should criticize Barkley & Smith for talking like dicks on the air... you can't answer a question if it's not asked, no?

Secret Homosexual Subliminal Messages From The Street Fighter Animated Series Revealed!!!

Check out these two clips from The Street Fighter animated series... something seems to be a bit fishy about this dialogue, no??? Thanks to Glen for sending us this... its pretty funny to see things like this after the fact. Animators sneak stuff like this in all the time.... like that dick in the clouds in The Lion King. Enjoy the clips, and let us know if you think these clips show true homosexual behavior or are just out of context... either way, you gotta love the Ryu/Ken uppercut shots before and after the clips.

Part 1



Part 2

The Reason Why I Blog...

Someone asked me why I put so much time and effort into this blog, and instead of snapping off a quick answer I really thought about it. This is what I came up with: I blog because I see alot of cool shit everyday on the sites I read, and I want to share these cool things with my friends and associates. That's pretty much what it comes down to... I laugh at some of this stuff so hard, I want you to see it. These two posts are exactly what I am talking about.

First, we got this cool bar sign via Geekologie (see, credit given... feels good to receive credit, doesn't it?) that plays upon the problems of the Iphone:

Next up, we have Buzzfeed's 30 funniest signs from the protesters of the Pope's visit to London. Boy, these are great (That's what the priest said... get it, get it....ah, never mind) Anyway, here are my top 3. Click the link above to see the rest.

So, at the end of the day, this is why I blog. All these cool sites take the time to put up posts that help me smile and keep me informed everyday, and I just want to be on the same team... hope I make you guys smile a bit everyday (c'mon, a Ghostbusters/Pedophile Pope sign... that's funny, and you know it!!!) Hope you guys like whats going on here at CCD. If you do, pat us on the back and leave a comment below... please!!! Let us know you appreciate us. Thanks for stopping by....



Shake Weight??? More Like The....

I was eating breakfast with Taaa and Mikey yesterday and was watching the E network. All of the sudden this info-mercial came on the screen. Now, so far this story seems pretty regular. But then the commercial picked up speed. I looked up at Taaa and saw her eyes bugging out of her head as she stared at the screen. I instantly whipped around to this:



Is this chick really jacking this weight off right into her mouth???? WTF!!! Thank god my son had his back to the TV, cause I almost died... I covered my mouth to not spit out my coffee. Taa and I watched the rest of this commercial hysterical laughing... all I could think about was sharing this with you guys. Here is the Youtube video of the whole commercial. Can not believe they filmed these ladies jacking this weight off... did they think nobody would notice this. My favorite part is when the lady is aiming the weights at her chest, looking like she cant wait for the weight to cover her in gym jizz... This is one product ad that should have been thought out a bit more... Enjoy!