February 28, 2011

We Live Blogged The Oscars On Facebook... Yes We Did!!!


Last night both Jeff Bond and myself logged into the Mike CCD Facebook page and live-blogged the shit out of the Oscars. We were joined by CCD contributors Joey Esq & Kristen Grillo. In case you missed the literally hundreds of comments we posted, here are a few highlights.

Mike D's Best Lines:
  1. Ok Halle Berry, enough of all the Lena Horne talk... just go all Swordfish and show us them titties!!!
  2. Glad they showed Leslie Nielson as Enrico Palatzzo in the montage.
  3. Holy shit... someone do Mr. Douglas a favor and cut off the flow of gaseous hydrogen that is keeping him cryogenically frozen in an upright position.... god!!!
  4. Bob Hope with the Jew/Hollywood joke for the win...
  5. I hope Banksy wins and comes up on stage to spray paint Oprah's face while wearing a monkey mask.
  6. Did that black dude just say Lose Yourself from 8 Mile was his movie song ever? Get the fuck outta here....
  7. The lady accepting the costume award for Alice In Wonderland is wearing Jerking Off gloves... no need to wipe off the hands when you are wearing those puppies.
  8. Inception sweeps the sound category "Brahmmmmmm"... why are all these guys sucking off Chris Nolan so bad "Brahhhhhhhhmmmmmm"... They did there own job, they deserve their own credit "BRAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMM"
  9. Trent Reznor sold out... he ain't fucking anybody like an animal anymore...he is walking the line now.
  10. Mila Kunis should have made a short film called "How to Train Your Lesbian Ballerina Partner" with subtitles from when she goes down on Portman... Just saying
  11. Just wish that one of these winners would come out and be like "To all you other nominees... suck it, we the best, all we do is win, win, win, win, win (DJ Khaled voice)"
  12. Melissa Leo just channeled a bit of Jacke from 227 at the end of her speech... wtf???
And now Jeff Bond:
  1. Mila-kun this, please!!!
  2. Wait a minute ....Isn't Kirk Douglas dead?!
  3. Fister? I hardly know her!
  4. Hope Anne Hathaway never winds up looking like her mom.
  5. Fully grown? You said it Mila.
  6. A sea urchin is eating Cate Blanchett
  7. HBC is starting to look like her dog, Tim Burton.
  8. We love us some Randy Newman. When did he get Downe Syndrome?
  9. Ah, the death toll up next!
  10. Hillary Swank is all teeth.
  11. Whoa! Jennifer Lawrence. Good Googily Moogily.
  12. From the Onion: "Stay tuned for the official Republican rebuttal to the #Oscars shortly after the show"
And some of Joe & KMG's highlights:

Joe:
  1. Umm Sandra, Jesse Eisenberg didn't ACTUALLY invent Facebook.
  2. Wrap it up, Padme.
  3. Annette Benning is sporting the ill Paulie D blowout!
  4. I'm legitimately confused... Lena Horne paved the way for black performers how? She looks pretty white to me.
  5. What are the odds Kirk Douglas will have been added to that list (the dead actors list) by the time they get back from commercial?
  6. You named your daughter Bronty? Is she real fat?
  7. Looks like they found a dress to force some of Oprah's belly fat up into her bust. Ugh.
  8. Wheeeee! Autotune jokes! Its 2008!
  9. YOU APPLAUD WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THE NAME GEORGE LUCAS YOU HOLLYWOOD MONKEYS!
  10. I didn't hear anything McConahoweveryouspellit said over the SOUND of Scarlett Johansen's sexiness. MING!
  11. Know who loses the achievement in costume design award? Whoever dressed Ms. Blanchett.
  12. Kirk Douglas can't even speak and he's killing.
And Kristen:
  1. Who dat? James Blunt? (Talking about the director of The King's Speech Tom Hooper)
  2. I think her water just broke.
  3. Is James Franco dying as the night goes on?
  4. Oprah??!! The fuck you doin' here lady! The color purple was 27 years ago!
  5. Spaceyyyyyy! You so crasey!
  6. Look at Reese and her strong chin!
  7. Josh Brolin: YOU GOONIE!!!
  8. Melissa Leo: giving her best performance of her career right now!
  9. Spit it out you old bastard! (talking to Kirk Douglas)
  10. Hugh Jackman: My uterus is your lair.
  11. Keith Urban.....you tiny!
  12. Damn, I look good in the future. (Talking about her look-alike, Sandra Bullock)
Great fun... check us out on Facebook by clicking here. Love you guys!!!! Mad fun, looking forward to doing it LIVE next year (good call KMG, next year we make history!!!!)

2 comments:

  1. Mila was fabulous. Sexiest girl there.

    VERY disappointed Hailee Steinfeld didn't win for True Grit

    Mike know there are such a thing as 'Jacking Off Gloves'?

    Sick Sick Sick of Christian Bale and his method acting TRICK - if I was crazily obsessed (and an asshole) I could eat an apple and a can of tuna a day.

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  2. Usually these awards shows can be a bore fest but reading your comments throughout made it very entertaining...Great job!

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