Reality Check- 'Jersey Shore' Edition by Kate Jones

Reality Check- Watching 'Jersey Shore Season 3'
I know it’s been so long, my friends. While coping with the general difficulties of being a full-time educator and part time Master’s student, I have been greatly ignoring my blogging responsibilities. However, I think I have finally figured out how to balance my many roles and can finally return to one I enjoy a lot… writing about television. I haven’t really picked up on too many new shows, but I continue to watch the old ones. So today, I’ve decided I’m going to give you a brief run down on some of the lunacy that’s been going on in reality land… and I suppose I have to start with everybody’s favorite idiots, the cast of the Jersey Shore.

3rd Season assemble and role out

"Meatballs" Snooki & Deena 

This season, we actually saw the total deterioration of the most normal Shore cast member… Vin. He went from a lovable 21-year-old just trying to get a little booty and stuck in the middle of crazy land, to a full blown, spray tanned, whore-banging, player guido (I just had to add guido to my new computer’s dictionary, thus losing a piece of my soul). It was a little sad to see him get drunk and be mean to Snooks, who, though totally insane, is kinda lovable in her meatbally kind of way.

Speaking of meatballs, we also met Deena, who is definitely an upgrade from Angelina, but doesn’t add anything to the show…we already have a meatball who falls off of bars. That being said, she seems kind of nice and fun, so she can stay around!

JWoww and her wows

JWoww finally broke up with her boyfriend Tom, after she already fell for permanent shore resident, Roger. About time no? I don’t think that the show really portrayed Tom fairly though… I mean, she cheated on him in like the first episode and the guy stayed around… wouldn’t you be paranoid about what your significant other was doing too? I mean look at Sam and Ronnie? That being said, I have never been much of a Jenny fan, but she grew on me a little bit this season. I wish her and her juicehead much luck in all their future endeavors.

Pauly D. was kind of nonexistent this season, no? Except for when him and Vin would team up and make funny jokes (denimdenimdenim, being my favorite of the season by FAR), he was kinda boring.

Also boring- the Situation! This guy really lost his mojo, no? I mean no one in the house seems to really give a crap about him and his antics anymore… and either do I.

This brings us to Ron and Sam. Now, I’m going to make a very important statement to start this off. I am not a fan of Ron OR Sam. Now I am going to make a Public Service Announcement in regards to this statement. Young women of the world, get out of your crappy abusive relationships!

I understand that Sam is immature and kind of dumb, but that is no excuse for her things to get destroyed. I understand that she won’t forgive Ron for “Miami” but it’s kind of hard to erase the picture of your man tonguing down two girls in a bar and then climbing into bed with you. I understand that she should have told Ron that she invited that funny looking dude to Karma to make him jealous, but I don’t understand why he would go so crazy that she made out with him YEARS before. She’s sneaky? Why? Because she existed before she was with that gorilla that survives only off of steroids and Xenadrine? Ron is an asshole. Plain and simple. She may be a silly young girl, but she has NO REASON to be treated the way she was. The fact that MTV tried to make her the villain in this situation makes me completely hate humanity. Either way, I can’t wait to see more Shore next season.

Recap 1 (in a while) down. I’ll be back soon with an ode to the other love of my life “Boston” Rob Mariano and Survivor: Redemption Island.

Link to Kate Jones' previous installment of 'Reality Check'

Just Once, I'd Like My Prayers To Be Answered

The troll that is Snooki from 'The Jersey Shore' actively wrestled in the WWE's Wrestlemania XXVII the other night... and she survived. Damn, it's so sad that I have to write that sentence. let me clarify exactly what I mean. I am a realist, therefore I fully acknowledge that wrestling is completely and utterly pre-planned. Everyone involved knows whats gonna happen long before they stepped into the ring. With that being said, I am also a realist in the sense that whenever you got people that large flying around the ring, accidents can and will happen. Those moves are highly athletic and high risk. Anyone can get hurt at anytime. Do you guys remember what happen to Owen Hart?



So when I heard that Snooki would be fighting at Wrestlemania... well, lets just say I was hoping she would take a tumble for the worse and severely injure herself. Maybe not death, but some sort of partial paralysis or debilitating injury would have been great. Instead, we got this:



Damn you Vince McMahon... you had your chance to make up for tons of past misdeeds by silencing this ogre an you blew it. Thanks a bunch. What happened to Owen Hart was a tragedy, but if the same fate would have befell The Snookster... well, lets just say I would been just fine with it. Hopefully, this won't be her last time on the show. Next time, maybe someone could jack her up a bit more. Here is to hope.

Don't These Guys Got Shows To Film?

There were a few videos that have been making their way around the internet over the last few days and they involve some major TV actors & actresses crossing boundaries to another medium. Some are good, but most are not... yet it is our duty to make sure you see them. Here we go:

Check out CCD favorite Heather Morris from Glee as she gets some of her cast members and Sofia Vergara involved in a "Nuthin' But A G Thang" remix for Funny or Die. Not so great, but she is smoking hot in those footie pajamas!

Nuthin' But A Glee Thang with Heather Morris, Matthew Morrison & Sofia Vergara from Heather Morris

Next up, we got Vinny from the Jersey Shore completely wrecking Wiz Khalifa's awesome song "Black & Yellow" with his version, "Black & Guido"... um, yeah. Vinny was the guy in the Jersey Shore house that I really had no reason to hate... up until now!

Last but not least, we got Kim Kardashian... she recorded a single (of course she did) with R&B artist The Dream, and they premiered it for the crowd at Tao in Vegas last week. Here is the video:



Now that was meh... but this is great. Check out Aziz Ansari, Chritina Milian, and Taraji B Henson reacting to Kimmy's new song:



I suggest these clowns get back to the TV game ASAP.... what do you think? Tell us in the comment section below!

The Real Jersey Shore.... Continued

DJ Greedo D by exo-politic-2012... thats wonderful!

The Real Jersey Shore....

Snooki & newcomer Deena finish off a local Gorilla Juicehead.

Twilight On The Jersey Shore...

This video aired on Jimmy Kimmel's Twilight: Eclipse special that aired a few nights back. Our favorite goons from the Jersey Shore take some time out of their busy GTL schedule to re-enact some of the most memorable scenes of the Twilight saga... this is freakink hysterical!!! Pauly D as Jacob... hehehehe. Enjoy the video...

 

NO MORE REALITY SHOWS FROM NEW JERSEY... Please???

You know what... when I started this post, I was mad as hell. I have had enough of all these terrible ass New Jersey reality shows hitting the airwaves in the last few months. But by the end of composing the title, I realized that instead of being mad... maybe I should be nice. Beg even... Please, no more terrible Hair Do's and Fake and Bake tans... Please, Please, no more fake Soprano wannabees who would probably get knocked out if the wind blew to hard... Please, Please, Please, no more of these horrible girls that have so many STD's that they are dripping them out of their make-up clogged pores... PLEASE, WHOEVER YOU ARE PRODUCING THESE SHOWS.. I BEG YOU TO MAKE IT STOP!!!

Why am I so mad. This is why:

This is a subway poster for Oxygen's newest show, "Jersey Couture". This follows Style Networks "JerseyLicious", Bravo's "Real Housewives Of New Jersey" TLC's "Cake Boss" and most notably MTV's "Jersey Shore".... come on, What The Fuck.

First of all, Jersey is mad corny... it will always be inferior to big brother New York, and so its residents will always overcompensate for it. This makes the people on these shows even harder to stomach, especially for New Yorkers. Secondly, I'll admit that "The Jersey Shore" was kinda cool... but that because the whole cast WAS NOT FROM JERSEY. They were just on vacation there. Anyone who goes to Belmar, Point Pleasant or Seaside during the summer knows that its like being smack in the middle of a Brooklyn Block Party. The Jersey Shore as a place is dope... but the locals? Not so much... And Finally, how the fuck are the people of Jersey even being considered for style type shows about hair and clothes??? These people, especially the women, are absolute disasters. Would you want these messes doing your hair or makeup??? 

I didn't think so... Enough with New Jersey and it's trashy, lame, no style, juice head, fake tanned, caked on makeup clown faced, sexual transmittable infected mutants... doesn't anybody want to shoot a show in Michigan or North Carolina... Please!!! Thanks. I'm done now. See you at the Shore in a few months... hahahahaha!

The Best "Situation" Met Fans Will Be In All Season

The NY Mets are the other MLB team that play their games in NYC. Their big brothers, The NY Yankees, have won 27 world championships and are looking to repeat off of last years World Series title. The Mets, or The Mutts as they have been known at times, have a rocky history to say the least. When you play sports in NY, you are expected to win... no questions asked. You gotta get it done. And even though they won 2 titles in 1969 and 1986, the bad times have far outweighed the good ones for the kids from Queens. Over the last 3 seasons expectations have been really high... but whether it was choking away a huge division lead in 2008 or the crazy freak injuries of 2009, they could not make the postseason. With everyone back healthy and ready to go, the Mets looked hungry. Then the season started, and the old losing ways came back... they are currently 2-4 and they look like they are back to their losing ways.

Anyway, I saw this commercial the other day and thought it was hysterical. It features Mike "The Situation" from The Jersey Shore and NY Mets 3rd Baseman David Wright training for the upcoming season. David is trying to turn the corner after a rough 2009, and "The Situation" has some new tactics for him to try out. Check it out, and if you are a NY Met fan, take solace in this cool ass commercial... cause you got no shot this season on the field!!! Oooohhhhh... sick burn. 

DVD Release for Tuesday February 23, 2010

This week is a pretty slow release week. Not much really going on. These are the weeks that I usually work on picking up some classics or a box set that I can find for a good price. But this is whats coming out.

The Jersey Shore - Season 1 Uncensored

I became a bigger fan of this show as it continued through its run. At first glance, I thought the guys were going to be huge toolbags and make me sick. But in reality, they were hugely understated and funny. The girls are vomit inducing with their attitudes, but all in all the show was engrossing and kept me interested. The talks are that the show will be moving to The Hamptons or South Beach for Season 2, trying to play on the old fish out of water clesche... but in reality MTV might ruin a great show because this crew won't be just right anywhere but New Jersey. Looking foward to seeing the show uncensored, hoping that this will make me like the show even more. GTL, The Situation, Jumping on Grenades, Snooki get laid out... can't wait to do it all again!

The Box - (Frank Langella, Cameron Diaz, James Marsden Directed by Richard Kelly)

This is a pretty good idea for a movie that was adapted from a short story, but this story has already been made into a Twilight Zone episode. As with most short stories, the problem that Kelly runs into is that the source material is too brief. What would you do if a stranger showed up to your house with a mysterious box, told you that if you pressed the button that someone somewhere would die, and then you would get 1 million dollars, free and clear. Good question, tough decision... this is what faces Marsden and Diaiz. Set against the backdrop of the 1970's space program and the constant ethical questions that dog us everyday, the film is pretty good. It's not better the Donnie Darko, which is Kelly's best work. Frank Langella steals the movie as Arlington Steward, the man with The Box and without a portion of his face. He is creepy and makes the decision process harder to make. Would you take the money... ???

Other Notable Releases: Ichi the Killer (Blue Ray), Cirque de Freak: The Vampires Assistant, FlashFoward Season 1 part 1, The Informant, Nurse Jackie season 1

Now get out there and buy some movies!!!!!