The Real Superman?

Ok, Okay, Superman doesn't really exist. But check out how far this diehard fan will go to look like Superman.

Reality Check- 'Survivor' Edition by Kate Jones

Reality Check- Watching 'Survivor Redemption Island'

     Anyone who has ever been around me, ever read what I have written, ever attempted to call me on a Thursday (now Wednesday) night knows that I love Survivor. More than Survivor, I love, love, LOVE “Boston” Rob Mariano. I know I have said it before. The reason I love Rob stems from the fact that one of the first full seasons of Survivor I watched was the “All-Star” season that Rob and his future wife, Amber, completely dominated. Also, I love the way he plays the game. I love that he is too smart to fall for Jeff Probst’s way of asking questions, always giving him an honest and effective “non-answer.” I love that he evolves with the game. I love that he is lovable, and still a villainous mastermind. He is playfully arrogant, but knows at any point, his time may come.

Your 'Survivor Redemption Island' cast

"Boston" Rob & Russell

     For all of these reasons, I was so happy to hear that he was going to be back on Survivor for the fourth time this season on Redemption Island. With him, the Survivor I hate the most, Russell Hantz. When they were split up onto tribes of newbies, Russell quickly made friends with two cute little girls, which has always been his game. The tribe noticed and threw a challenge to get him the hell out of there. Rob on the other hand went in helping the tribe. He was kind and they loved him. The few that didn’t were gone quick… Rob knows when it’s their time to go. He can see it in their faces and he can hear it in their voices when they are even THINKING to get him out of there. If Rob is the slightest bit afraid of someone, he will make sure to convince the rest of the tribe that THEY should be afraid of that person. It’s what happened with Matt in episode 2 and with Matt again after he came back from Redemption Island at merge.

'Survivor' Phillip

     As Boston Rob’s tribe again turned on Matt, voting him out immediately after he returned from Redemption Island, and tricking the other team into using their immunity idol, the opposite tribe, the ones who got rid of Hantz in episode three, said “ohh, that poor kid”. When one of them said, “what happened” David, a slimy but smart player said… “Genius is what that was.” And it was. Matt could beat Rob.

Rob just couldn’t have that.

      This is a pretty good season. Besides Rob, we have former Federal Agent (?) Phillip, who says some pretty crazily awesome things and walks around in pink briefs. Ralph is a redneck who happens to have the most insanely cool body hair ever. There are two former NFL players, one young (Grant) and one older (Steve). There’s that slimey lawyer guy, David, and a firefighter lady, Julie, and the normal parade of cute 20 something females who are on the show to lose that 3 lbs. they gained in their big toes when they graduated college. There is a Marine who keeps trying to make big moves, but I think his time is limited… unless he can convince Grant to make a big move. Grant has been pretty loyal to Rob, but if Grant turns, then he has a good shot of taking this whole thing. This of course depends on being able to get rid of Matt on Redemption Island… who is a wiz at all things challenges.

'Survivor' Andrea

     I don’t know what could possibly happen with the rest of this season. I don’t know if Rob will win. There’s only so long they can keep him around, I suppose. I will enjoy it while it lasts. IF he can’t win, I am rooting for Grant, or Matt (if he can make it back to the game). If I had to choose a female, it would be Andrea, who is playing this game VERY smart and pulling her weight around the camp.

     But, I will now and always cheer for the guy that can convince a bunch of people that the word Murlonio means, from the sea…united, when it is actually just the name of one of his wife’s stuffed animals. Kind of mean, but still so adorable.

Link to Kate Jones' previous installment of 'Reality Check'

Reality Check- 'Jersey Shore' Edition by Kate Jones

Reality Check- Watching 'Jersey Shore Season 3'
I know it’s been so long, my friends. While coping with the general difficulties of being a full-time educator and part time Master’s student, I have been greatly ignoring my blogging responsibilities. However, I think I have finally figured out how to balance my many roles and can finally return to one I enjoy a lot… writing about television. I haven’t really picked up on too many new shows, but I continue to watch the old ones. So today, I’ve decided I’m going to give you a brief run down on some of the lunacy that’s been going on in reality land… and I suppose I have to start with everybody’s favorite idiots, the cast of the Jersey Shore.

3rd Season assemble and role out

"Meatballs" Snooki & Deena 

This season, we actually saw the total deterioration of the most normal Shore cast member… Vin. He went from a lovable 21-year-old just trying to get a little booty and stuck in the middle of crazy land, to a full blown, spray tanned, whore-banging, player guido (I just had to add guido to my new computer’s dictionary, thus losing a piece of my soul). It was a little sad to see him get drunk and be mean to Snooks, who, though totally insane, is kinda lovable in her meatbally kind of way.

Speaking of meatballs, we also met Deena, who is definitely an upgrade from Angelina, but doesn’t add anything to the show…we already have a meatball who falls off of bars. That being said, she seems kind of nice and fun, so she can stay around!

JWoww and her wows

JWoww finally broke up with her boyfriend Tom, after she already fell for permanent shore resident, Roger. About time no? I don’t think that the show really portrayed Tom fairly though… I mean, she cheated on him in like the first episode and the guy stayed around… wouldn’t you be paranoid about what your significant other was doing too? I mean look at Sam and Ronnie? That being said, I have never been much of a Jenny fan, but she grew on me a little bit this season. I wish her and her juicehead much luck in all their future endeavors.

Pauly D. was kind of nonexistent this season, no? Except for when him and Vin would team up and make funny jokes (denimdenimdenim, being my favorite of the season by FAR), he was kinda boring.

Also boring- the Situation! This guy really lost his mojo, no? I mean no one in the house seems to really give a crap about him and his antics anymore… and either do I.

This brings us to Ron and Sam. Now, I’m going to make a very important statement to start this off. I am not a fan of Ron OR Sam. Now I am going to make a Public Service Announcement in regards to this statement. Young women of the world, get out of your crappy abusive relationships!

I understand that Sam is immature and kind of dumb, but that is no excuse for her things to get destroyed. I understand that she won’t forgive Ron for “Miami” but it’s kind of hard to erase the picture of your man tonguing down two girls in a bar and then climbing into bed with you. I understand that she should have told Ron that she invited that funny looking dude to Karma to make him jealous, but I don’t understand why he would go so crazy that she made out with him YEARS before. She’s sneaky? Why? Because she existed before she was with that gorilla that survives only off of steroids and Xenadrine? Ron is an asshole. Plain and simple. She may be a silly young girl, but she has NO REASON to be treated the way she was. The fact that MTV tried to make her the villain in this situation makes me completely hate humanity. Either way, I can’t wait to see more Shore next season.

Recap 1 (in a while) down. I’ll be back soon with an ode to the other love of my life “Boston” Rob Mariano and Survivor: Redemption Island.

Link to Kate Jones' previous installment of 'Reality Check'

My 3 Favorite Scary Movies Of All Time: Kate Jones Edition

Ever since that scene in Scream where Ghostface asks Ms Barrymore that same question people have been asking each other it with regularity. Actually, I'm pretty sure they have been asking each other that since the beginning of film itself. Scary movies are just so easy to talk about... and so easy to form an opinion of. For many reasons they are the genre of movies that you can point to and say "Yup, these are the ones I LOVE!!!" In honor of CCD's 1st annual All Horror Week, we decided to highlight some of our contributors and friends 3 favorite scary/horror movies of all time. These may not be the best, but they are each person's FAVORITE, so these lists should be quite fun. Here we go!

Our next contributor to step up to the plate is Kate Jones, whose True Bloody Love (True Blood) & Reality Check (Reality TV) recap columns keep everybody in the loop on whats going on. Since True Blood is outta season right now, we are waiting for Mrs. Jones to get a new obsession so we can be privy to some more of her excellent insights. One thing she won't be writing about will be horror movies, because she F'n hates scary movies!!! Despite the fact that she is not a huge horror fan (at all), she as a good sport and participated anyway. With no further ado, I present My 3 Favorite Scary Movies Of All Time: Kate Jones Edition!!!

Se7en (1995) - Hands down, one of the best movies I have EVER seen. Incredible acting, tons of visual grossness and an incredible storyline. I saw this at about the same time as Usual Suspects and was completely amazed by all things Kevin Spacey after that. Just total awesomeness...and creepiness.

The Shining (1980) - Nothing is creepier than the idea that a normal guy could go completely bonkers and try to kill the people he loves the most. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...

The Ring (2002) -  Wow... Kids are freaky! That girl was DAMN scary. I think that might have actually been the last scary movie I saw just based on that crazy girl climbing out of the television at the end of the movie. Also, my friends ex boyfriend calling my house phone just as the movie finished MAY have damaged me.

Reality Check- Summer Edition #3 by Kate Jones

Reality Check- Watching 'Big Brother'

During the first summer of my relationship with hubby, I started watching 'Big Brother' all because he liked it. Now, we still watch it, and it’s ALL ME! I love this voyeuristic nonsense! Food competitions! Twists! Back-dooring! SHOWMANCES! It’s the perfect summer show! It is on three nights a week (Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday), and is also on Showtime 2 every night (Big Brother After Dark) though it is unedited. Also, if you are a real sicko, you can subscribe to the live feed and watch it all the time! Towards the end of the season, I usually become so obsessed with who is going to win that I check out other websites’ live feed updates. This season I am trying not to do that. I also don’t particularly hate or love any of the contestants just yet.

If you are thinking about trying this show out, tonight is a good time to start. So far only two people have been evicted (bisexual Annie, the saboteur, and princess Monet). So you will still be able to get a taste of most of the housemates. The people up for eviction are forty-something, sheriff Kathy from Arkansas, and Doctor Captain Kosher Andrew, a practicing Jew who is observing his religion in the house but lying about his profession. 'Head of Household' (HOH) Matt, a self-described genius who proclaims himself to be the best player in Big Brother history (watch out, Matt! People who count their chickens usually don’t go as far in this game) and who has also told everyone in the house that his wife is suffering from a rare disease, played it a little safe this week by putting up two floaters. Here are a few other things going on!

The Brigade- The alliance of Matt, Hayden, Lane and Enzo. This is a pretty successful secret alliance. They also have side alliance, but all are committed to The Brigade first. However, it is looking like Hayden might be swaying a little because of his showmance with Kristen.

Brendon and Rachel- Holy Moley! These two have gone beyond showmance quick. They are like totally in love. Rachel admitted she would sacrifice herself for Brendan in this game and that his love is more important than $500,000. Also, everybody seems to want to get them out but they have avoided elimination now three weeks in a row! I hope they stay a while. They are pretty entertaining.

Britney- She is about 5 feet and 90 pounds of TOTALLY- FREAKING-HILARIOUS! The girl’s nasty one liners sound like they come right out of me and my best friends’ bitch-sessions. For example, in her goodbye message to Monet, “ Who am I going to talk to about Kristen’s high-waisted pants or what we could do with Rachel’s hair extensions?” She also said that she’s afraid that all of Rachel’s STDs would be airborne when she wears short skirts. Her delivery is better than my explanations. See the below you tube clip.

Reality Check- Summer Edition #2 by Kate Jones

So Emmy nominees were revealed last week and here are the reality shows nominated.

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW HOST

Ryan Seacrest (American Idol)
Phil Keoghan (The Amazing Race) WILL WIN
Tom Bergeron (Dancing with the Stars)
Heidi Klum (Project Runway)
Jeff Probst (Survivor) SHOULD WIN

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW COMPETITION

Project Runway
Top Chef- Wouldn’t mind if they won either
The Amazing Race WILL WIN AND SHOULD WIN
Dancing with the Stars
American Idol

OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM (No clue who would win this category.. maybe Antique’s Roadshow?)

Antiques Roadshow
Dirty Jobs
Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List
Mythbusters
Undercover Boss

I am actually incredibly disturbed by the fact that Survivor was not nominated for Outstanding Reality Show Competition. This season was by far one of their best yet and I think they definitely deserved it over Dancing With the Freaking Stars. Amazing Race always wins. It is a great show and also kind of educational, but I am very disappointed about Survivor. This could have been their year. Maybe Jeff will win for host.

Other travesties- Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List… really? Throw in one of those history channel shows I was talking about last time… like Pawn Stars instead!

What do you guys think? Do any of you watch these shows? How could they not nominate Survivor?!?!?!?!!?!

Reality Check: Summer Edition #1

Ode to the History Channel

Every TV lover knows that one of the very few bad things about the summer is the television lineup. Like you all know, I love reality shows, but I hate this Housewife crap. I just can’t get myself to watch it. I’m sorry. I tried. So one night, while flicking around in the hundreds on Fios, I stopped on the history channel where I saw a commercial for a new show called, “Top Shot.”

This show takes renowned marksmen from around the country (one guy is from England) and makes them compete in various competitions. The winner gets the title of “Top Shot” and $100,000. The cool thing is that they are not only shooting guns. They are shooting historical guns, throwing knives and shooting bows and arrows. Another cool thing is that it is hosted by Survivor Alum Colby Donaldson! Would I be watching this show if it was on in the fall? Maybe not, but I like it enough to keep watching for now!

What this show did do is open me up to a world of shows on the History Channel. I actually really like Pawn Stars and American Pickers. Pawn Stars is about a Las Vegas pawnshop. They might take anything that is worth money, but I like when they focus on historical memorabilia. The other day, a guy brought in buttons that were worn at George Washington’s inauguration. Now, I know I’m a history dork, but that’s pretty cool.

American Pickers are basically two guys who travel across the country and go through people’s collections of antique things, buy certain items and then sell them for retail price. The other day they visited a cement block-making factory where the 89-year-old owner had garages filled with awesome stuff- from cars, to signs, to antique gumball machines. Mindless television, yes, but very entertaining!

So now, much like the D-I-Y channel and HGTV, the History Channel is on in the Jones household often. Try to check some of these shows out one day if you are bored. I promise you that they are not disappointing.

See you guys soon... keep watchin!!!

Reality Check #6 by Kate Jones: The End Of The Spring TV Season

Well, the end of the Spring television season is upon us, so that means we have WINNERS all over the place… Let’s talk about who won some of our favorite reality shows!


The Amazing Race

Congratulations to Daniel & Jordan, the gay brothers! I don’t think anyone really expected them to win this, being against the cowboys and all, but they really turned it up in the final leg (in San Francisco). The cowboys finished second and the dating models finished third. At the very end there was some obvious bitterness by Carol and Brandy, the mean, dating lesbians. They were still insisting that the Cowboys should have been U-turned instead of them, which is a little stupid, considering the Cowboys didn’t win! Shut up and be gracious in defeat, mean ladies!!!! Congrats to Dan and Jordan. These guys were over-the-top ecstatic over winning this race!

America’s Next Top Model

Congratulations to Krista, who won in the finale over Raina. Both girls were great, but it came down to who had the better walk, I guess. I honestly thought that Raina had the better pictures, but I am not the expert! So, another year, and another pick of mine gets to finals and loses!

PS- Tyra, I hate you and your smiling face!

Dancing With the Stars

I don’t watch this much…if ever… but Nicole, the Pussycat Doll, won. Are you surprised? Yeah, me neither.

American Idol

The right two went to the finale, but the wrong person one. I am sorry. Lee DeWyze is wonderful, but Crystal Bowersox is better. But since I didn’t vote, I have no right to complain. Keep that in mind when the next election cycles come up for your government officials!

Celebrity Apprentice

Bret Michaels wins!!! YAYY! The only person that I wanted to win a reality show that actually won! For a reality maven, I really had a shitty record this season! Anyway, he beat Holly Robinson-Peete who did an amazing job for her HollyRod Foundation for Autistic Kids (Bret’s money went to Diabetes research). I highly recommend giving to either one of these amazing charities, or you can donate to the Autism Walk that I am doing on June 13 at the South Street Seaport!

The Biggest Loser

I love the Biggest Loser finale! Seeing these people love almost 50% of their bodyweight is a totally amazing thing! Congratulations to Mike, for winning the money and the title of Biggest Loser, but also, great job Ashley and Daris for making it that far and looking as AMAZING as you did. Also, congratulations to all the people who lost so much weight at home and to Koli who won the At Home prize.

Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains

Well, just as expected, Russell and Parvati went to the finals but Russell made the serious mistake of bringing someone who he didn’t think was a threat to him in Sandra Diaz-Twine. He didn’t realize some of the moves Sandra was making and perceived her lack of physicality as total weakness. She had an immunity idol, she tried play after play to get Russell out and she made the move after Rob was eliminated to get rid of Coach. That being said, I am not sure that Sandra was the most deserving. I think Parvati is awesome. Dangerous, yes. Sneaky, yes. But awesome, nonetheless. Russell won the at home prize for the second time and was bitching about how America should have a vote in who wins Survivor… pure idiocy coming from the troll-like sore loser. If you don’t like the rules, don’t play the game!!!! Either way, it was the BEST season of Survivor that I can remember watching in full. Brilliance!!

Coming Up This Summer

I have promised Jeff Bond that I would watch Jerseylicious. I have been avoiding this, but am going to start sometime this week. You will be exposed to the recaps, and I’m sorry in Advance.

BIG BROTHER!!!!!! Until I am a teacher, this will remain to be the best thing about my summer! This show gets me going even more then Survivor. It starts in the beginning of July and is on 3 days a week! I can’t wait for another summer of backstabbing and showmancing and slop and silly challenges and twists! I am bursting with excitement, people!

I will also be watching Hell’s Kitchen. I usually tend to avoid The Bachelorette, America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance and Last Comic Standing, but if you would like me to take a look at something, please let me know!

Rest in Peace:

I just want to take a minute and say goodbye to some of the shows that I watch that have been cancelled: Flash Forward, Heroes, Cold Case, Law and Order, and Mercy.

I think that all of these shows had a great premise. Heroes just faded out at the end- a victim of bad writing. Flash Forward just couldn’t get the ratings, even though it had a very good premise! Cold Case was a great crime show, but just wasn’t as good as the others in its genre and the same goes for Mercy (which had a great cliff hanger to end the season that I unfortunately will never see resolved) Its been 20 seasons for Law and Order, tying the record that Bonanza set for longest running TV drama. It may get picked up by another network like TNT just to allow it to break the record.

Note: Did anyone see Jimmy Kimmell after the LOST finale? I guess I wasn’t the only person imagining a LOST/Survivor merger!

Reality Check #5 by Kate Jones (Lost Week Edition)

What if LOST was a Reality Show….


“On a beautiful deserted island… somewhere between Australia and Los Angeles, 15 people are isolated to compete for their life…and some DHARMA Beer until one contestant remains to become the Sole Survivor.”….

So, before I actually watched LOST for the first time, I thought it was going to be some miniseries that was stemming from the ‘Survivor’ craze. I had only seen commercials, and in the spirit of true Fan boy-hype, there wasn’t too much mainstream information about it (“…the internet and blogging is for LOSERS,” said 2004 Kate Jones-X) There was plenty of underground buzz, however, and by the time I sat down and watched Season 1- Episode 5, “White Rabbit,” I was completely hooked.

Now, I am not the resident LOST genius, but I love this show more than Jack loves ‘Apollo Bars’ and will be incredibly sad to see it go. The last time I felt this deeply for a television show was when Alias went off the air. For those of you who haven’t watched it ever, it is a piece of J.J. Abrams brilliance that, unfortunately, faded out in later seasons with the additions of new and, ultimately, less interesting characters. Because of this love, I couldn’t just let my C-C-D brethren, be the only ones to put their two cents in during ‘LOST week’ so I decided to bring you ’LOST Survivor’! For my mash-up, I decided to only include the original 15 cast members from Season one.

So without further ado, let’s meet your castaways, find out how or why they would be voted off and which one of these people would win the title of ‘Sole Island Survivor’

Boone, Charlie, Claire, Hurley, Jack, Jin, John Locke, Kate, Michael, Rose, Sawyer, Sayid, Shannon, Sun and Walt! (see Mike, I didn’t forget about him.)

So since we’re starting with 15 people, one person needs to be eliminated from the get-go. For my blog’s purposes, this person will be the one perceived as the weakest by the rest of the castaways from first glance. All of the castaways are torn between the obvious two people: Walt and Hurley. The castaways, ultimately, vote Walt out unanimously because he is a small child that shouldn’t be on a deserted island fending for food and water. Hurley, while grossly overweight, will probably be able to help the tribe a little and won’t be perceived as a threat.

So now, at 14 the contestants are asked to split into tribes. They are all asked to pick a rock out of a bag. One person will pick a BLACK ROCK and another will pick a WHITE ROCK… the other’s will all pick red. Black Rocks and White Rocks will indicate the team captains. John Locke gets the black rock and the first pick. Jack gets the white rock and teams are chosen as follows:

Locke- ‘Black Team’:  Sawyer, Charlie, Boone, Hurley, Claire, Shannon

Jack- ‘White Team’: Kate, Sayid, Jin, Sun, Michael, Rose

Episode 1: A Reward Challenge: The prize is fire. Locke’s team squeaks this one out and the group seems rather pleased with themselves going in to the immunity challenge. The tribe is a little frustrated, however, with Shannon who seems be too much of a princess for ‘island life’. They get to the immunity challenge and the physical supremacy of Jack’s team takes the win. Locke’s team is about to unanimously vote off Shannon when they realize, “Holy Shit, Claire is 8 months pregnant! How the hell can she survive this experience?” She is voted out 5-2 (Charlie, of course, just couldn’t bring himself to vote for the pretty little Aussie.)

Episode 2: A Reward Challenge. The prize is water and Jack’s team pulls this one out with what can only be explained as ‘help from above’. He says his father’s ghost guided him there… WHATEVER! They get to the immunity challenge and it’s a puzzle. Locke’s team is about to win when Shannon drops a few of the pieces in the sand! Rose, staying calm, cool and collected, helps lead the more physical team to a mental victory. Nothing can save Shannon this time. She is voted out 4-2. Boone saw the good in her, but knew she was a LOST cause… Shannon leaves screaming, “Are you seriously keeping that fat guy over me?!?!

Episode 3: A Reward Challenge. The prizes are DHARMA Beer and Cheeseburgers! The Black team pulls this one out with some major help from Hurley! That dude loves his food but, there’s a twist: The winning tribe has to pick one person from the losing tribe to come with them for a day. This person will get to interact with the tribe and take part in their reward. Sawyer convinces Locke to pick Kate… ‘cause he thinks she would be a good ally on the other side….and that she’s cute. While at the Black Teams camp, she and Sawyer create an alliance based solely on their survivor skills….and a mutual attraction but, she is also in a ‘hot and heavy’ alliance with Jack. They get to the immunity challenge and Kate returns to her team. For an immunity win, it’ll be a knife throwing challenge. Locke’s team has this one in the bag and they win immunity for the first time! Jack seems defeated and their team has a tough choice picking between Rose, (who is older and not as physical but has some serious mental skills) and Michael (who is physically strong and motivated but just has a crappy attitude.) Jack, Kate and Sayid vote to get rid of Michael and it’s looking kind of obvious that Jin and Sun have formed an alliance. So, Michael is the third castaway to go!

*At this point we start to see some other clear alliances forming. Locke is working with Boone. Charlie and Hurley are tight. Sawyer is good with both Charlie and Hurley and Locke and Boone, and also has an alliance with Kate. Jack, Sayid, Rose and Kate seem to be getting on pretty well and Jin and Sun are a solid team.

Episode 4: TWO immunity challenges: The first one is a swimming challenge and for some reason, the Black team pulls it out! Jack’s team votes out Rose, because her physicality just isn’t cutting it. Sayid and Kate needed to make Jack realize this. The second immunity challenge is a little different. All of the castaways will be blindfolded, put in to a maze, and the last one out automatically gets sent home! Sawyer is the first person out of the maze, closely followed by Kate, Locke, Jack, Jin, Sayid and Charlie. Hurley, Sun and Boone are the last ones left… and Boone winds up being the one sent home. He just couldn’t find his way out of a DEAD end.

Episode 5: I smell a MERGE! The teams gather in the Black camp (the White team is allowed to bring their yummy bottled DHARMA water though!) The reward is an iPod to listen to until the battery dies! The challenge involves cooking the best version of DHARMA Slop (I know I’m going a little ‘Big Brother’ on you guys here, but bear with me). Hurley, of course, wins this challenge, but wait…he gets to choose two other people to get iPods along with him and chooses Locke and Charlie. (to which, Sawyer mumbles, “Son of a bitch!”) While they’re all listening to their Ipods, Sawyer, with the help of Kate, makes nice with the other team and agrees to vote with them to get rid of Charlie. Charlie is a likeable guy, but an ultimately unreliable partner. Of course, Charlie could win immunity, but he doesn’t. It’s an endurance competition, and it comes down to the last two WOMEN standing, Sun and Kate. Kate wins. The White tribe votes to get rid of Charlie but Sawyer votes for Sun with Locke’s tribe just to make the Black team thinks that he is still with them. With that, Charlie is the first member of our jury.

Episode 6: The Reward Challenge garners letters from home for the winner…. and two people of his choosing. It is a strength and balance challenge and Sayid wins it over Sawyer, but picks him and Jack to share the reward. This infuriates Sun, who starts mumbling about getting rid of Sayid. Jin is on her side, of course, and they think they can convince Hurley and Locke to be as well. Unfortunately for them, Sayid wins immunity for another physical challenge. Jack knows that Sun was thinking about betraying the tribe, and she gets voted out instead of Locke.

Episode 7: ANOTHER DOUBLE ELIMINATION EVENT! The remaining seven people need to compete in an obstacle course. The first one to cross the finish line gets immunity. The remaining contestants will need to vote two people out. The automatic assumption is the alliance of Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid and Jin will vote out Locke and Hurley, as it has become obvious that Sawyer is siding with the White team. However, Locke goes to Jack, Kate and Sawyer and makes an extremely compelling argument. Hurley and Locke are significantly less of a physical threat then Sayid and Jin, thus easier to beat. Even though it goes against everything that Jack believes in, Kate and Sawyer are able to convince him that this is the right move to make. By TWO votes of 5-2, Jin and Sayid are eliminated.

Episode 8: We are down to 5 castaways. The reward challenge involves some of the contestant’s very special people from home. We get to meet Hurley’s mother, Jack’s ex-wife, Kate’s Federal Marshall, and both Locke and Sawyer’s ex-girlfriends. Aside from Hurley, it sure seems as though these people aren’t doing so well off the island, huh? Anyway Locke, who still loves his ex, wins the reward. It’s a feast, and Locke chooses Jack and Hurley to accompany him. Secretly, Locke convinces Jack that more people on the jury like Hurley and that they should send him home first. Sawyer, who is happy to get some alone time with Kate while the boys go off to their picnic, wins the immunity challenge. He is….’refreshed’, I guess, after some time in the cages. Jack, Kate and Sawyer vote with Locke and get rid of Hurley.

Episode 9: Unless Locke wins immunity, it looks like he will be sent home. Kate doesn’t seem like she’ll be convinced to vote out Sawyer or Jack and neither of them want to get rid of her. At this point though, Sawyer realizes that he would have a hard time beating Jack or Locke on the jury. Sawyer winds up winning immunity. He decides he’ll need to convince Kate to help him get rid of Jack. Upon speaking to Locke, however, they decide to force a tie in hopes that it will help them do so. Kate and Jack vote Locke, and Sawyer and Locke vote Jack. They need to have a fire building competition to see who stays. Kate throws Sawyer a dirty look, and he is upset, but defiant. It seems as if this challenge was made for Locke, but Jack’s fire grows suddenly and burns the rope above it to make him the winner. Locke is so angry that he explodes into a puff of black smoke.

Finale! These folks define the meaning of ’love triangle’. Since it is clear to Kate that each man wants to get rid of the other, she feels secure. They head to their final immunity challenge in which they’ll need to hold on to a log in the middle of a lake. The last person holding on wins immunity. Sawyer slips fairly quickly and it is between Kate and Jack. Jack looks at Kate and says, “no matter which of us you choose, you deserve to be in the finale” and falls! Kate doesn’t know which man to choose. She is ultimately more attracted to the bad boy, Sawyer, but she thinks that Jack is the epitome of ‘good and safe’. Ultimately, she chooses Jack! The ending is pretty boring: “…you were riding his coattails!” blah, blah, blah…“what do you mean your dead father led you to water?” blah, blah, blah …“would you have gotten this far without him?” blah, blah, blah…
“Why’d you choose him instead of me?!”

In the end, the jury votes 6-1 for Jack to win $1,000,000 and the title of Sole Island Survivor.

"Thanks for voting for me sucker... I mean sweetie"

Although I am the resident Reality addict, I desperately needed to be a part of LOST week! I hope you liked my little ‘fantasy-REALITY’ world! A special thanks to Jeff for his help editing!

Reality Check #5 by Kate Jones

A few years ago I could care less about keeping up with much television. I picked a few shows that I thought were worth keeping up with, like Alias and Lost, but I cared more about being social (code- I was going out and getting drunk with my friends). Then in 2005, I met my future husband Rich, which awoke a sweeping desire to stay home more often. Still, we didn’t watch anything consistently (except Lost- don’t worry, Goldblum!) until the heavenly day when we moved into our own apartment and got…DVR! With this handy device, Rich and I slowly started watching anything that piqued our interest. We would watch Survivor when we were home and it was on, so now we taped Survivor. Same with Amazing Race and the Biggest Loser. Our summer belongs to Big Brother. When we’re bored, we watch MTV and VH1 Reality. It has come to a point where this stuff ALMOST outweighs the comedy and drama that we have always loved. Now lets get to this weeks most entertaining moments in reality TV!!!

Reality Rundown!

Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains: Boston Rob is gone! The Dragon Slayer is gone! Courtney (the sassy New York Waitress that weighs less then my pinky toe) is gone! Parvati has an immunity idol that only Danielle knows about and Russell has an immunity idol that J.T. gave him (moron) that Danielle, Parvati and the entire Heroes team knows about.

And tonight is the merge….and though I’m totally convinced that I am writing this for myself, let’s go over the remaining players in order by the damage they can do and their chances of winning.

Russell- The Survivor Villain (Past runner up)
Parvati- The Queen of Survivor (Former winner)
Amanda- Survivor’s Sweetheart (Two runner up finishes)
J.T.- The New Survivor Good Guy (former winner)
Colby- The Original Survivor Good Guy (past runner up)
Danielle- Three’s a Crowd Survivor (former (past runner up)
Rupert- Pirate with a Big Mouth Survivor (Fan Favorite Winner)
Candice- “I’m Still Here?” Survivor
Sandra- “I can plant a Russell seed, too” Survivor (Former winner)
Jerri- “I used to be a bad ass” Survivor

Honestly, I have no idea what is going to happen tonight. I think it should be obvious that Russell is in an alliance with Parvati to the Heroes right away. Also, Sandra will be able to inform her old buddy, Rupert, as to what’s been happening over at the Villains camp. Hopefully, J.T. smartens up and gets his immunity idol back one way or another. The best-case scenario for EVERY Hero is to get rid of Russell, or his little alliance will go a long way. If I were Danielle though, I would watch out. She is way too opinionated for Russell’s good. If I were Russell, I would watch out, because he is taking way too much credit for what he is doing with Parvati, and she doesn’t like it (made obvious by the fact that she didn’t tell him about the immunity idol).  Watch out for Candice- Things may start looking up. Look for my reaction on tonight’s episode later this week!

Celebrity Apprentice: I was all for Annie Duke last time and this time, I want Maria Kanellis! This girl is awesome. Hopefully it isn’t a total fix like last season where Sharon Osbourne is the new Joan Rivers.

Biggest Loser: Still inspirational, but largely boring. Same cookie cutter episodes as every other season.

Amazing Race: Sorry, mean lesbians. The dumb models finally got you. Stop being bitter and learn that when you are horrible to people, eventually you will get your come-uppance. Only a few teams left!

American Idol: Seriously, this season is just a formality. Crystal Bowersox is fantastic and if America doesn’t keep her, then clearly we are as dumb as every other country thinks we are.

That’s all, reality lovers.  See ya next time... happy viewing!!!

Reality Check Vol. # 4 by Kate Jones

A few years ago I could care less about keeping up with much television. I picked a few shows that I thought were worth keeping up with, like Alias and Lost, but I cared more about being social (code- I was going out and getting drunk with my friends). Then in 2005, I met my future husband Rich, which awoke a sweeping desire to stay home more often. Still, we didn’t watch anything consistently (except Lost- don’t worry, Goldblum!) until the heavenly day when we moved into our own apartment and got…DVR! With this handy device, Rich and I slowly started watching anything that piqued our interest. We would watch Survivor when we were home and it was on, so now we taped Survivor. Same with Amazing Race and the Biggest Loser. Our summer belongs to Big Brother. When we’re bored, we watch MTV and VH1 Reality. It has come to a point where this stuff ALMOST outweighs the comedy and drama that we have always loved. Now lets get to this weeks most entertaining moments in reality TV!!!

Survivior: Heroes Vs. Villains

It was awful. I knew it was coming, but that didn’t make me feel better. My man, my hero, Boston Rob was booted when the insecure Jerri sided with Russell and the “honorable” Coach voted with no one. I understand Jerri’s reasoning. She didn’t trust Rob. He was a dirty player the last time he played. But here’s what I don’t understand. Why do you trust Russell?

Here’s a bit of background on Russell. He was the runner-up on Survivor: Samoa, the 19th season which aired right before this one. Ironically. Heroes vs. Villains was also taped in Samoa, on the very same camps that Russell and Co. were living on last season. Not only that, but Samoa didn’t air before Heroes and Villains started taping, which means that all of the heroes and villains taking part in Season 20 never saw how this guy worked. I don’t think that this is particularly fair, but that’s probably just because I frigging hate him. Instead, I will explain it the way Rob did to Dalton Ross over at EW during his exit interview. Out of all the seasons of survivor, and all of the crazy villains that we’ve seen, this guy was picked for the show. He must be a real villain. Rob knew it. How come the rest of them didn’t? Well, guys, because Russell is awesome at this game.

With Rob gone, the Heores are starting to look a lot better. Candice, Colby, J.T., Amanda and Rupert are looking pretty good right now. The Villains need to be worried. As of right now, they are about to weed off the rest of Rob’s alliance, unless, of course, Jerri realizes that Parvati, Russell and Danielle actually hate her. In that case, Russell still stays, because they are going to be crazy worried about physicality at challenges. Right now is the perfect time for Parvati and Danielle to make a girl alliance with Sandra and Courtney. Yes, they both suck, but they hate Coach and Jerri after this week and will probably do anything to stay in the game until after the merge.

I am excited for this week’s episode. Even with my boy gone, I think it’s going to play out pretty awesome.

Some other quick bits:

Jersey Shore: The cast is in Miami and will start taping Season 2 and MTV is starting to cast Season 3. Go get them, guidos!

Frank the Entertainer In A Basement Affair: Congrats to Kerry from Brooklyn on winning Frank’s heart. Perhaps though I should congratulate her more on losing him three days later. While I believe that Frank is good TV, no girl in her right mind should want to be with him. He sucked New York’s toes! Here’s to Kerry getting her own show and making it big. I’ve heard good things about her, and hope she gets the best!

American Idol: Is it even possible for Crystal not to win this season? That girl can sing!

The Amazing Race: The Cowboys are the first team ever to have gone from last place to first place while having an extra task to do. They are fabulous. Goodbye, Steve and Allie, you will be missed!

Celebrity Apprentice: Rod Blagojevich and Selita Ebanks got to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I am jealous, but will talk more about this reality show in my newest column called “Stuck in Little Whinging” coming soon!

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