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October 20, 2010

A Small Request From A Big Fan

I am going to start this post by saying that I have been a big fan of Mark Wahlberg as an actor for a very long time. I always liked the grittiness that he brought to his roles, and the tough guy attitude that always poured through his performances even if that wasn't the kind of role he was playing. Think about it: Basketball Diaries, Fear, Boogie Nights, The Perfect Storm, Shooter, Invincible, The Departed, The Italian Job... the list if his hits goes on and on. But lately, something has kind of turned for Wahlberg... and honestly, its a turn for the worse. Think about it.

Your welcome...
I think the decline started in 2008 with We Own The Night. A total shitfest of a movie (my opinion) that featured such a unbelievable dream cast (Joaquin Phoenix, Robert Duvall, and Wahlberg... and the wonderful tits of Eva Mendes) that it probably sucked because they couldn't live up to the potential they all bring to a film.

Then came the truly dark days: The Happening and Max Payne. I kind of give Max Payne a pass because its a video game movie (9.8 out of 10 of them suck ass) so there was probably no shot of the one being good. But in my opinion, The Happening is the worst movie ever made. EVER MADE. Not just in 2008, or worst horror movie ever, or worst M Night movie ever... it is by far the worst film I have ever seen. Personally, I feel that the reason I have such contempt for it falls squarely on Wahlberg's overall dreadful performance. He plays an quiff of a character (this dick wears a mood ring... really) that is so totally opposite of everything we know Mark to be. How the fuck could he ever agree to play such a fairy type role? Couple his unbelievably effeminate performance with such ridiculous ideas that the wind is a villain and a script filled with disastrous dialogue and you got a movie that takes a great premise (why is everybody committing unexplained suicide?) and completely fucks it up. Not to mention, how the fuck can you ruin a movie that stars the absolutely gorgeous Zooey Deschanel? Fuck you, The Happening... you are the worst movie ever.

Wahlberg followed The Happening with a cool cameo in the Tina Fey/Steve Carrell comedy Date Night and a decent role in The Lovely Bones (an underrated movie... great!). So things were looking up for Marky Mark... until The Other Guys came out. I know the film was financially successful, and is praised as being funny. But I propose that all of these things are true IN SPITE of Wahlberg's performance, not because of it. He has become an over actor now, and he is trying way to hard to be a tough guy (Maybe cause of his gay bird role in The Happening... overcompensation anyone?) He is supposed to be the straight man to Will Ferrell's idiot... I get it. But does he have to be a dick of epic proportions? Not to mention the promotion he did on the MTV Awards and SNL where he kept the tough guy shtick up, cursing and threatening to beat everybody up... what a dickbag. Which brings me to the point of this whole rant:

Mark, please leave The Crow remake alone. Please. For the love of Christ. /Film has reported that Wahlberg has been offered the lead role in this reboot/remake. While I hope this is a mistake, usually the guys over at /Film don't fuck around. It has also been reported by Cinemablend.  Fuck. Don't do it Mark, please. Here are my 3 reasons why:
  1. Brandon Lee is The Crow. That's that. I don't acknowledge any of the other 2,200 sequels, prequels an shitfests that have come out in the Crow franchise (that hurt to even type... franchise? More like Shitchise). The fucking guy took a bullet on the set of the movie and DIED, perpetuating the curse on the Lee family that started with his Dad. You guys have fucked his legacy up enough... don't let Wahlberg and his recent track record of terrible performances make this any worse than it already is.
  2. Why would you want to play this role? It can only go bad for you... whats the upside, honestly? This film is probably going to suck worse then Reindeer Games, so get yourself out of the way now. For the sake of your career....
  3. You got The Fighter coming up, which co-stars Christian Bale and tells the story of boxer Irish Mickey Ward. This film is made for you, and hopefully will be great. Maybe through this you will gain some respect from everybody again and become a top notch actor. Get this one out before you even sign on to do anything else.
I hope Mark listens, but he probably won't. I truly love this guy as an actor. I also think its remarkable that he rose to such a highly regarded status because I never thought he had it in him. But now that he has crashed and burned on camera, can he turn it around? Lets hope so... I'm rooting for you Mark! Am I crazy? Do you disagree? Tell me how you feel about all of this Mark Wahlberg related hoopla in the comment section below. I can't wait to hear all your thoughts.


  1. I know 'The Happening' takes it's lumps but I honestly don't think people UNDERSTAND what they were trying to do with his character in that film. I loved it. It's not my Favorite M. Night Shyamalan film but, I've already seen it 3 times. Remind me to go over with you what I took from it that made me like it.

    Max Payne was unwatchable, though, and I feel like 'The Crow' would pretty much go in the same direction of that one...and is probably, in some odd way, the reason the role has been offered to him. I don't think he's cut out for comedy evenm though those films make a lot of money, as you say...inspite of him. I think Mark Wahlberg does 'hard, dickbag, Boston cop' well and he should probably do a string of those to get people on board again.

    I think 'The Fighter' might do him some good. Let's hope so because, I too am in his corner...

  2. Jeff,

    You have some weird tastes... as do I. But under no circumstances can you argue that The Happening was a good movie. Maybe you do not feel it was "The Worst Movie Ever" as I do... but to say you liked it makes me want to strap you to a chair and force you to undergo a Ludvico style treatment like Alex in A Clockwork Orange. Thats just sick that you can like it and your mind needs to be wiped to start over!!! (LOL)

    Now, lets get to the real bottom of this... You so love M Night that you would even support this shitbag movie. Thats just crazy. Airbender may have not been as bad as everybody said it was, and I like The Village even though most people do not, but The Happening... its just sooooooo bad!!! The Wind... Really? And the cast is outrunning the wind... Really? REALLY!!! And Wahlberg as such a girlie character.... the only thing that I liked were when the guys jumped off the roof and the lawnmower kill, and there is a rumor that all those people killed themselves because they read the full script and were horrified (LOL... I might have made that up). The premise was great (why are people killing themselves???) and it was botched. Not to mention Marky Mark was terrible. Please, we need to discuss this. Maybe our first podcast???

  3. I'm going to agree with JBond on this one and I will probably lose some friends. I thought The Happening was great. I saw it when it first came out and then I made Katie watch it on cable. She wanted to kill me. She absolutely hated it because of Mark's performance. Granted it was not his best performance, but I thought that the story was great. JBond, I am interested to hear your take on the story. Let's do that podcast!

    Mike D, I don't think that they are trying to out run the wind. It is something else!

    Do you have the same feelings about AI?

    I thought that Max Payne was the worst movie ever. It hurt so much to watch it. I thought that I completely blocked that movie out of my memories. Thanks for bringing it back.

    And I agree that he should not touch the Crow. That's a movie that should never be remade.

  4. Here's my thing..and I know I'm in the minority so I've heard all the complaints 'em!

    The lives of the lead characters in 'The Happening' were spared when all others around them became infected in someway by Mother Nature's wrath BECAUSE...BECAUSE....THEY WERE MILD MANNERED! It was pointed out very clearly that Wahlberg's character couldn't even get his mood ring above a certain level because he was just a calm peaceful guy. The planet killed off the people that had regular aggressive and hotter personalities the fastest. So Wahlberg's character avoided death just because he was a mild mannered teacher. Now I know people will say "mild mannered or not, Wahlberg's acting was monotone and wooden". There's one thing Wahlberg is capable of, and that's dramatic emotion. Watch 'Departed' or any of the countless Bro drama's he's done.. he can do it...but, in this case he was told not to.Can you imagine that he acted that way and M. Night Shyamalan allowed that if that's not what he wanted. He wanted him to me slightly emotionless and wooden...that's what the character called for. Now, in the nay-sayers defense the fault lies with Wahlberg and Shyamalan for not completely driving that idea home to the audience but, I think Marky Mark did what he was paid to do. Most people just didn't 'get it' and that's OK. I'm no better than any other viewer. I just got it. There's plenty of times I don't, believe me.
    If possible, give the film a second shot and tell me I'm completely out of my mind...but, watch it again before you do.

    Max Payne was piss poor. I tried to sit thru it twice because it's based on a cool video game...and looked a bit like Sin City in the Noir style in which it was filmed. I couldn't make it through either viewing and I don't care what happens.

    That being said I agree that Wahlberg is wrong for 'The Crow' and that it's not even a film that needs revisiting. To me, it ended when Brandon Lee died.

    I await the asshole ripping that I'm fully aware the rest of the CCD staff and readership will surely deliver to me.

    Viva la M. Night Shyamalan!

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  6. Wow. JB that is a perfect explanation. The movie does not need more explanation than that.

    I too missed the whole mood ring thing, but it makes perfect sense. I liked it in my own way because of the message from Mother Nature. 'Destroy me and I will stop you!'

  7. Jeff, obviously you know you're not alone. I loved The Happening. I saw it four times in the theater alone and every time it got better. The demeanor of our characters made more sense and so did its story.

    Mike D. I'll take you up on a discussion any day with this film. I have yet to ever come across anyone that has given me a legitimate logical response to why this film is considered THE WORST. You don't have to love the film but for the love of latter day saints, it is far from the worst.

  8. Alright, lets clear ths up. For the record, I have seen The Happening 4 times from beginning to end. 4 TIMES. The reasoning for this is because I wanted to like it. I love M Night, thought the premise was great (suicide for no reason...), and was hug Marky Mark fan. But from the get, the movie rubbed me the wrong way in all aspects. Let me explain.

    You keep saying that its not "The Wind" and its all about temperment... but I pose this question to you: What the fuck does temperment have to do with the way the film was marketed? It was billed "M Nights first R rated affair" & "Psychological thriller about people commiting unexplained suicide". While its clear they left out what was causing the suicides in the marketing (for abvious suspense building reasons), once you actually watch the movie you get a half assed explanation of the suicides at best (Be mild mannered and you will be ok... wtf???)That was false advertising guys... and all of you know it now, after the film was released.

    As for the whole mild mannered & calm = OK thing, I cannot say this is true. While some people, like the old lady, are fucked up and easy to see why they get infected, think how many other people who die from the unexplained suicides were normal. Shit, half of those people were not acting crazy or nervous until people started killing themselves around them. You would get pretty high strung quickly if people started jumping off buildings and shooting themselves FOR NO REASON... so in effect, "The Wind/Nature" is punishing ths second group of people for their irrational behavior that was mostly brought on by the killings in the first place!!! Maybe I'm missing the point, but that doesn't seem fair to me.

    Lastly, there were actual moments towards the end of the movie where it appears they are actually OUTRUNNING the infection... specifically when they are running across the field. This is assinine, and furthers my point on how rediculous the concept of this movie is. And Wahlberg is so gay it hurts to watch. Your tellng me he finds out his wife is cheating, loses his home and watches people he loves die, and never... not once, does he get excited and mad? Ever? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. Its one thing if he was a quiffy character. Lots of guys play quiffy characters... but when everyone else is being thrown into a situation and is then punished (with death mind you) for how they over react, how does he stay so calm and gay? Its unrealstic, and poor writing. "Oh, he is calm and collected cause thats what the script says... no explanation on how he stays calm.... he is just so mellow." I Call Bullshit.

    I would love to sit down and watch this movie with you guys soon, cause MB I need to be straightened out. But I have given it numerous chances, and all I come up with is that The Happening sucks balls. Buts thats just my opinion... What do I know about the restaurant business??? Nothing, I just sit down & order my meal (Thanks Paulie!!!)

  9. Oh, and just for the record, The Happening is clocking in at a whopping 18% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes... thats pretty bad, meaning it gets ripped by many different critics (168 reviews, 138 rotten and the 30 fresh ones are not even that good either.) Lots of people have lots of different reasons why they hated it. I'm not one to completely side with critics (never ever) but the evidence is a bit one sided, no?

    P.S.- Alot of this came before the current anti-M Night climate... some would say that these reviews were the beginning of the anti-Night campaign. Coincidence... I think not.

  10. Just some other movies that people often say suck & their ratings on Rotten Tomatoes:

    Phantom Menace - 62% Fresh (159 total, 98 Fresh, 61 Rotten)

    Attack of the Clones - 66% Fresh (215 total, 142 Fresh, 73 Rotten)

    Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - 20% Fresh(229 total, 46 fresh, 183 rotten)

    Nightmare on Elm St Remake - 13% Fresh (156 total, 20 Fresh, 136 rotten)

    Ishtar - 19% Fresh (26 total, 5 fresh, 21 rotten)

    Indy & The Crystal Skull _ 77% Fresh (246 total, 190 fresh, rotten 56)

    Spiderman 3 - 63% Fresh (239 total, fresh 150, rotten 89)

    Those are some movies who take some shit for sucking... so what say you?

  11. OK let me get back into this with you because your certainly on the right track but than you throw it all out the window. For starters, I give you credit for hanging in there with M. Night Shyamalan. For the most part, I think people kept turning out for each of his films waiting to get the 'twist ending' they enjoyed from '6th Sense' and 'Unbreakable' when that's where the twists sorta ended. He's a director and writer that chooses to write stories in different ways, each time, like any good writer/director should but, for some reason this guy has gotten pigeon-holed into the consensus by mass viewership that 'OK, THIS next film is going to be one with a cool twist...I feel it!' and when it's not, it immediately sucks because it doesn't deliver. That's not your position, I know...but, I just wanted to point out why, I feel, this guy gets pasted by the critics and viewers now before any of them even see the film. His films shouldn't be judged as if 'Tha Happening' is going to be his R-Rated film with a twist...and 'Signs' is going to be his Sci Fi film with a twist. Nor is Airbender his kids film with a twist. He's just making film s the way he likes for the people that like them. He's said that the U.S. viewers appreciate his films far less than they do overseas. I'd like to see those statistics because, I agree...we are a fickle bunch. Who tend to choose alot of rehashed drivel over fresh ideas at the box office each time.


  12. Now, just quickly, about the concept of the characters 'temperament' in 'The Happening' being the reason why they survived. Fairness doesn't come into the play here. Mark Wahlberg's character is indisputably a mellow guy. I will agree again that maybe his acting didn't drive that point home with everyone and I'm trying to think of any actor that could but, I'm failing at the moment to do so. Could Brad Pitt play an intelligent super-dooper mild mannered high school teacher with good looks that doesn't let anything ...ANYTHING change his mood from calm to aggressive or overly scared or angry better than Wahlberg? I'm not so sure. It's a tough role to play. I stick to the idea I walked away from the film with though...that his temperament was what kept him alive! A screaming child that may have been 'infected' for lack of a better word was 'infected' because the child's emotions were on high. The earth and nature wasn't 'fair' as you say to it's just sussed out and killed/infected all human life by seeking out the emotions of the planets inhabitants. I'd argue that 'mother nature's' ultimate goal here was to just kill off ALL humanity...angry, calm or otherwise (not to spare Mark and Zooey)...but because emotion acted as a sort of 'heetseeker' for the flora of the planet...Marky Mark and Zooey Zooey were spared. That's it...nothing more. They probably don't even know why they were...and if it happens again they wouldn't even know how to reproduce the outcome but, if they reacted like they do to anything than they will be OK again.

    One more note. Zooey Deschanel did a great job playing a mild mannered woman. No one questions her temperament although it was similar to Mark's character. Maybe we all can accpet that from a woman..but not from a musclehead like Marky Mark. Butkudos to her for getting her character right.

    In the end, If Mark Wahlberg as an actor and M. Night Shyamalan as a director/writer failed to drive home to more than 10% of their audience what they were trying to get across than I guess it's a failure for them but, that's not to say that quite a few people did get where they were going, completely, and liked what they did with his film.

  13. Your certainly allowed to dislike this film as is the other 82% of the critics on Rotten Tomatoes I would hardly call it the worst film ever though. You sat through the film 4 times, I'm sure there's films that you've turned off within the first 20 minutes 'cause they were unbearable. One of those could possibly be the worst films of all times! I know I have walked away from 'Max Payne', 'The Brothers Grimm', 'Transformers'. One of those could possibly be the worst films of all times!

  14. Jeff, 100% agree with you completely. Especially when you compare the similarity to Zooey's character to Mark's. Both mild mannered but she was definitely way more successful at presenting her character in a believable and relatable fashion. So it's certainly fair to say that Wahlberg wasn't convincing but there's no misunderstanding as to what type of person Elliot Moore was.

    And I really think that people truly don't understand Night's way of storytelling. If his movies were comic books, I feel like his stories would be more successful. He rides this fine line of reality and fantasy with all of his original pieces. The mistake I feel he makes is exactly what you said Mike: the way he allows the studios to market his films. Always fucking misleading and always trying to garnish some sort of attention similar to that of The Sixth Sense. A HUGE mistake and I'm surprised that for a man who is so secretive and protective, he allows his producers to do this to him. But I guess he has to compromise somewhere. But enough already with people bitching about his "no huge payoffs." Not every one of his films have to end with a twist. But rather a message. How you interpret that message is definitely up the viewer and of course you certainly don't have to agree with it. But that's HIS way of storytelling. You can choose respect it or choose not to understand it but I think his work is nowhere near from "sucking balls". Fucking ludicrous. In fact, he has MORE balls to do what it takes to get his original visions out there instead of succumbing to pushy money-fuck movie studios and changing his point of view. Bra-fucking-O, I say.

  15. Personally I can see where you guys are going... but in the end, was not looking for a payoff or twist. Just an explanation. Not even a full explanation... just one that would prevent me from wondering why the plants can make humans kill themselves indiscriminantly (which we never get). Also I can buy Marky Mark being mild mannered, but there is no possible way he can stay THAT calm all the time. Not with all that stuff gong on. And if he can, tell us why. I feel like he was able to JUST BECAUSE... It was wrtten that way, so thats it. Thats lazy. As for Zooey she is mild mannered, but at the same time she si the one in denial and hidng stuff. So her mood is one of a coverup mode, like "nothing to see here..." type shit as to not draw attention to herself snce she feels guilty.

    To address your claim about shuttng movies off, I will say this: I rarely, if ever, shut a movie off the first time I have seen it. If I start, i finish. Also, I have never ever walked out of a movie in the theater. EVER. Just facts, not because I haven't seen some shit films... just because its not me. I watched this 4 times (and I will watch it again with u guys) because I want to see something in M Nights flick that I must be missing. I loved Lady in the Water, despite the fact that people hate it. I hope against hope that they will see what I saw in it. I just haven't... actualy the opposite has happened. The first time I saw it, I was like "Meh". I didn't hate it, but I didn't care for it. Yet when it came on HBO, it got a second shot. Thats when my contempt began to grow. The two subsequent viewings lead to me hating it more and more, even though I set out to watch it to gain a better prespective and finding some redeaming qualities in it. I don't know gang... I guess we agree to disagree. But to quote Jay-Z, "Men lie, women lie, numbers don't". 18% Fresh with that many reviews kinda tells the public consensus, no?

  16. Also, neither of you addressed that throughout the whole film making process of this film and prior to the release this movie was marketed as a horror film... and also "M Nights first foray into R Rated films" where he would be able to really get grimey. Instead, we get emotions and mood rings... you can't tell me that wasnt the case. This was bush league. The film wasnt even so bloody or wild.

    Also, I know Signs was an alien movie with hardly any aliens and was instead a study of how people would react and overcome the situation. Yet there was tons of situations that used the alien presence to drve them. This was not the case in The Happening. It was a proposed to be a psychological thriller with maniacal tenedencies (with lots of promised blood) & was instead a study in human emotion. I call bullshit.

  17. I didn't address that his latest films are marketed poorly in my last post? Sure I did.

    Rather than going back and forth and seemingly getting nowhere, my intention here was just to try and pour a little insight as to why I liked the film.