1) Slow undressing and nudity of the male and female variety.
2) Homoeroticism
3) Blood and guts
4) Killing and murder
5) Witty commentary
6) Mystery
7) Sex.
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Last we saw, Lorena threw Sookie against a wall and was taking a bite. She stops to tell Sookie how delicious she is and Bill gathers enough strength to jump up and grab Lorena away from her, wrapping a silver chain around her neck. Lorena told Bill she loved him and Sookie drove a stake through her heart. Cue blood and guts and killing! What an opening sequence!
Next Tara and Alcide show up to get Sookie out of there. After Sookie found the key to Bill’s handcuffs in the pile of nastiness that was once Lorena, Tara and Alcide helped her wrap him up so that they can put him in the van outside. Enter queen bitchface Debbie. She pointed a gun at Alcide and she went on about how she really had loved him, but that he wouldn’t have a baby with her because he didn’t want to have a were-baby. Tara knocks Debbie down and Alcide is able to pick up the gun when Cooter comes in. Alcide shoots him twice (blood and brains and murder!) and Debbie loses it. She swears to go after Alcide for doing this to her and I believe her! Debbie is one scary bitch! He stupidly doesn’t kill her though and leaves her locked in the Slave Quarters at King Russell’s house
Sookie, in a moment of pure idiocy, says that she is going to ride in the back with Bill. After running over some werewolf guy, the rescue mission is a success and they are out of there! Finally! But dummy can’t just bring him to help. She needs to open her arm and feed him her blood to strengthen him up. This starts off okay, with him just taking blood from the wound, but then he starts biting her all over. He is completely out of control and covers her mouth so she can’t scream and keeps on draining her.
Now, as a reader of Charlaine Harris’s books, I knew this scene was coming. In the books, this scene and his infidelity with Lorena caused Sookie and Bill’s breakup. But this scene was a lot more graphic in the book. In the book Debbie locked Sookie in a trunk with a starving Bill, and he didn’t just symbolically rape her by drinking her blood. He ACTUALLY raped her. Sookie, even though she loved him and understood that he couldn’t control himself, just couldn’t deal with that.
Anyway, Alcide has to pee so Tara checks on Sookie and finds her bleeding to death in the back of the truck. She throws Bill in to the sunlight and they rush Sookie to a hospital. But Bill doesn’t burn. I wonder why? Does it have something to do with Sookie’s strange powers.
Tara and Alcide contact Jason and Lafayette and the four of them are in the hospital praying for Sookie to get better. Sookie, however, doesn’t have a bloodtype and her body is rejecting any sort of transfusion. Bill shows up and wants to give Sookie his blood to save her. Tara thinks he did enough, but Jason lets him do it. While they are there, Sookie is in some magical place that seems like a Grateful Dead concert, but with really beautiful people instead of smelly old hippies. There she meets Claudine who warns her not to let Bill take her light.
Now, I know what this place is. I know who Claudine is. I know what Sookie has in her. Therefore I can’t really draw opinions on all this without ruining it for you. So let me ask… what do you think of all this?
Anyway, the Bill Blood transfusion worked and Sookie woke up screaming. Obviously terrified of Bill. But she regained her composure and convinced everyone to leave the room. Her and Bill tearfully broke up with each other. They acknowledged their love for each other but also acknowledged that their love is NO FUCKING GOOD for them AT ALL. Sookie’s almost died a million times in the series, and it’s only supposed to be about three months since season 1! Put on your smart hat, Sookie, and run for the frigging hills!
Anyway, lets cut away from the doomed lovers for a minute and talk about Eric and all of his sinful tastiness! Eric is holding Queen Sophie-Anne in a cage near her pool, and he drags Sookie’s cousin Hadley out to her. Now we don’t get any explanation why, but Hadley and the Queen have something very real going on here. You can see that they deeply care for each other. Eric wanted to know what was special about Sookie and told the queen he would drink from Hadley until she told her. While Hadley was barely conscious, she whispered to Eric why they were after Sook. And Eric was surprised. You can’t say that too often. He then gave Hadley some blood so she can recover.
Also, we finally get another glimpse of Pam! The MagisterMagister marry him and Sophie-Ann. The Magister said that “The Authority” didn’t give him the right to perform marriages. Russell stated, “There’s a new Authority in town” and quickly switched Pam and the Magister so that the Magister was now bound by silver. After a little bit of torture, the Magister finally agreed to marry them. Sophie and Russell air kissed and the king celebrated by cutting off the Magister’s head (blood and murder!). I wonder what the repercussions of this will be with the Vampire League and whoever this “Authority” is.
Russell, Sophie, Hadley, Eric go back to Russell’s mansion and poor Talbot is very upset. He has had to deal with a dead Lorena, the brains of Franklin and dead werewolves. He’s had enough. Eric hears Russell say to Talbot that he’s just happy that he is okay. From then on, I knew the poor Carson Kressley was doomed. But hey, if I was going to go out, might as well go out like he did… well sort of.
Eric informs Russell that there is a “werebitch” waiting for him, and, of course, its Debbie. Debbie wants Sookie dead.
“She fucked my ex-boyfriend and made him shoot my fiancée. She's a cunt!” Russell agrees, but he thinks that she is “a special cunt.” They needed to compromise, so he agreed to let Debbie torture Sookie a bit before he brings her in. Russell wants to go get Sookie soon, and doesn’t fully trust Eric, but Eric swears his allegiance to him anyway. That means very little, because as soon as daylight hits, Eric sneaks to a scantily dressed Hadley to tell her to go and warn Sookie that Russell is coming.
Back at Sookie’s house, Jason wants Sook to press charges against Bill, but she doesn’t want to. Tara thinks that Sookie sounds like a stupid bitch from country songs (think ‘Stand By Your Man’) that sticks up for men that beat on them. Alcide however was there to comfort Sookie until crazy ass Debbie burned down his sister’s hair salon, in an effort to get him away from Bon Temps. As he was leaving, they hugged, and both of them wished that they could have fallen in love with each other. As a woman I can relate to this. I know plenty of girls who had good guys love them, but instead they chose the no-good life sucker. I guess it’s not just in fiction folks. Most people have no idea what’s good for them. Alcide promised he’d be back to see Sookie, and I really hope that it will be this season. I loved Alcide in the books, and I am starting to love him on the small screen.
Finally Hadley comes to see Sookie. We find out that she had run away from rehab and hadn’t seen anyone in her family for years. She didn’t even know that Gran had died. But she was there to pass on Eric’s message, which was, “Russell is coming” and “Don’t trust Bill.” Hadley runs out and Sookie reads her mind. She knows that Hadley is the one that knows something about her, and she told the vampires.
Back at Bill’s house, Jessica is thrilled to see him. But Bill tries to send her away because he can’t protect her. She refuses to leave, saying he is all she has. He decides to teach her how to fight instead of kicking her out. This was a pretty cool scene with the two fighting at vampire speed. They also talk about love and letting people go for their own good.. blah, blah, if you love them set them free bullshit.
Next we briefly see Russell preparing to go to Bon Temps. Talbot isn’t happy that the king is leaving again and starts smashing priceless artifacts. Eric stops him from breaking the Viking crown and tells Russell that he will stay to keep Talbot company. I smell seduction!!!
Talbot and Eric play chess, but that’s not the kind of fun that Talbot wants! He demands that Eric start taking off his clothes, and he DOES! If life could be so easy!
Back in Bon Temps, Debbie and two other wolves show up at Sookie’s house. They go in to find Bill waiting for them, and then Jessica shows up and sweetly says hi to them. God, I love Jessica! I didn’t think I would ever say this, but the girl rocks. When she showed up, me and Rich almost cheered in excitement hoping for her to kick some ass. Debbie ran upstairs to Sookie’s room and the two of them have an epic bitch fight. Sookie could have just killed her, but she didn’t. I would think that Debbie would be a lot more powerful than Sookie, even if she does have some V in her. After all, Debbie has tons of V AND is a werewolf. I would think this fight should have been easier. Anyway Sookie cuts her with a pair of scissors and holds a gun on her again.
Downstairs, Bill dispatched of his wolf and Jessica runs outside after hers, Unfortunately, Russell is waiting there for them. He grabs Jessica and threatens to kill her if Bill didn’t hand over Sookie. Bill calls Russell a coward for hiding behind wolves and baby vampires. Russell then throws Jessica aside for he wolf and grabs Bill. He is about to dispatch of him when….
Back at Russell’s house we see naked Eric and naked Talbot wrestling, and Eric tells Talbot to turn over. Talbot wants it in the butt pretty badly, but instead he gets STAKED! Eric was THRILLED by his sweet revenge….
Russell gives a guttural scream of pain when he realizes that Talbot has been killed and taken from his. He shoots up in to the sky, leaving Bill alone. Debbie jumped out of the window to get away from the armed and ready to shoot Sookie. Bill comes upstairs and she tells him that she loves him and they hug and kiss passionately.
The final scene had some loud angry music playing while naked Sookie was riding the holy hell out of Bill. That looked like some angry, make up sex! Also, we see Jessica in the woods FEASTING on the werewolf that was Patrick Swayze’s brother.
Also going on in Bon Temps, but significantly less exciting… Arlene dreamed that Rene’s baby was going to kill people just like he had. Tommy was acting angsty in Merlotte’s and upset Hoyt quite a bit. Arlene interviewed a new waitress who has some sort of mystical power. Crystal ran away from Hotshot to be with Jason. The Hotshot men were looking for her in Merlotte’s and Sam and Tommy smelled that something was up with them. These guys are definitely some sorts of shifters. Jason tells these guys to stay away from Crystal. Tara has a sexy dream about Franklin. Lafayette and Jesus seem to make up.
So what do you think of all this? I thought the last couple of episodes were FABULOUS! Next week I will be away, but I will get another double recap to you the week after! I hope you are enjoying the season and my recaps so far. Comment below and thanks for reading!
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