Reality Check #5 by Kate Jones

A few years ago I could care less about keeping up with much television. I picked a few shows that I thought were worth keeping up with, like Alias and Lost, but I cared more about being social (code- I was going out and getting drunk with my friends). Then in 2005, I met my future husband Rich, which awoke a sweeping desire to stay home more often. Still, we didn’t watch anything consistently (except Lost- don’t worry, Goldblum!) until the heavenly day when we moved into our own apartment and got…DVR! With this handy device, Rich and I slowly started watching anything that piqued our interest. We would watch Survivor when we were home and it was on, so now we taped Survivor. Same with Amazing Race and the Biggest Loser. Our summer belongs to Big Brother. When we’re bored, we watch MTV and VH1 Reality. It has come to a point where this stuff ALMOST outweighs the comedy and drama that we have always loved. Now lets get to this weeks most entertaining moments in reality TV!!!

Reality Rundown!

Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains: Boston Rob is gone! The Dragon Slayer is gone! Courtney (the sassy New York Waitress that weighs less then my pinky toe) is gone! Parvati has an immunity idol that only Danielle knows about and Russell has an immunity idol that J.T. gave him (moron) that Danielle, Parvati and the entire Heroes team knows about.

And tonight is the merge….and though I’m totally convinced that I am writing this for myself, let’s go over the remaining players in order by the damage they can do and their chances of winning.

Russell- The Survivor Villain (Past runner up)
Parvati- The Queen of Survivor (Former winner)
Amanda- Survivor’s Sweetheart (Two runner up finishes)
J.T.- The New Survivor Good Guy (former winner)
Colby- The Original Survivor Good Guy (past runner up)
Danielle- Three’s a Crowd Survivor (former (past runner up)
Rupert- Pirate with a Big Mouth Survivor (Fan Favorite Winner)
Candice- “I’m Still Here?” Survivor
Sandra- “I can plant a Russell seed, too” Survivor (Former winner)
Jerri- “I used to be a bad ass” Survivor

Honestly, I have no idea what is going to happen tonight. I think it should be obvious that Russell is in an alliance with Parvati to the Heroes right away. Also, Sandra will be able to inform her old buddy, Rupert, as to what’s been happening over at the Villains camp. Hopefully, J.T. smartens up and gets his immunity idol back one way or another. The best-case scenario for EVERY Hero is to get rid of Russell, or his little alliance will go a long way. If I were Danielle though, I would watch out. She is way too opinionated for Russell’s good. If I were Russell, I would watch out, because he is taking way too much credit for what he is doing with Parvati, and she doesn’t like it (made obvious by the fact that she didn’t tell him about the immunity idol).  Watch out for Candice- Things may start looking up. Look for my reaction on tonight’s episode later this week!

Celebrity Apprentice: I was all for Annie Duke last time and this time, I want Maria Kanellis! This girl is awesome. Hopefully it isn’t a total fix like last season where Sharon Osbourne is the new Joan Rivers.

Biggest Loser: Still inspirational, but largely boring. Same cookie cutter episodes as every other season.

Amazing Race: Sorry, mean lesbians. The dumb models finally got you. Stop being bitter and learn that when you are horrible to people, eventually you will get your come-uppance. Only a few teams left!

American Idol: Seriously, this season is just a formality. Crystal Bowersox is fantastic and if America doesn’t keep her, then clearly we are as dumb as every other country thinks we are.

That’s all, reality lovers.  See ya next time... happy viewing!!!