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April 28, 2010

Boobquake Is A Failure Of Epic Proportions

On April 26th, women all over the United States participated in Boobquake. Boobquake was the idea of Jen McCreight, an Purdue University student. She was outraged at ridiculous comments made by Muslim Cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi that woman's cleavage are the cause of earthquakes... so she did the logical thing. She organized a multi city "titty-pact" in which woman all over the USA would wear cleavage bearing shirts to prove to those crazy Islamic bastards that juggs do not cause natural disasters. The date was set for Monday, April 26th, and women all over were willing and able to participate. Twitter was ablaze with the trending topic #Boobquake, and they even had a Facebook page. On Monday, newspapers all over the country covered the upcoming event, and titties were barely being covered all over the country. And then the worst thing that all of these lovely ladies could ever dream of happened... THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE IN TAIWAN THAT MEASURED 6.5 ON THE RICHTER SCALE!!!

Way to go ladies... not only did you objectify yourself by popping your boobs out, but you proved the crazy cleric to be right... 100% correct!!! Your tits caused this disaster. Unreal. And all my life, I loved tits. All kinds of tits: Big, Small, Fake, Real, Floppy, Saggy, Perky... you name them, I loved them. But now... I don't think I can love boobies anymore... FOR MY OWN SAFETY!!! OK, OK... I'm just kidding. Of course the titties DID NOT cause the tragedy in Taiwan on Monday. But it is a tad ironic, no??? Hey Jen, next time you wanna question someone on statements they make, just make sure that whatever you plan on doing can be controlled... SO YOU DO NOT PROVE THE PSYCHO'S CORRECT!!! K. Thanks. Bye.

P.S. - I still love boobies... fuck an earthquake. I live in New York!!! Bwahahahahahaha!!!

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